My finger, rockin’ the Dora Band-aid

Frugal or sentimental?

You be the judge.

Happy Groundhog Day!

What? It’s not happy for you? Could it be because of that portly prognosticator Punxutawney Phil, who SAW his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter?

Well, it’s like he says:

So I guess you Yanks are just gonna have to grin and bear it. Enjoy your snow.

But Phil is not the only hog around. Here in Atlanta, we have General Beauregard Lee, who did NOT see his shadow this morning.

And for some reason, I’m more inclined to believe HIM:

Did you ever have one of those days when you can’t stop yawning? But your jaw aches for some reason and a big yawn makes it feel like it’s dislocating? Then you think about how much yawning hurts, which makes you yawn even more?

Have you ever wished your kid would Just. Stop. Talking? And she’s home from school with you because her eyes hurt so you’re wondering if it’s pinkeye, but it might just be that she rubbed them too much last night after getting something in them? And now she’s feeling chipper and wants to chat about her Nintendo DS game about fashion and what you think she should make her character wear?

Do you ever gaze at your TV screen and wonder where all that dust on it came from? And then you remember that you live on a dirt road, which explains the dust but not the dog hair on the kitchen floor or the goo on the bathroom counter but you choose not to focus on those and try to think of ways to get the county to pave your road because that would solve your entire cleaning problem?

And your kid still Will. Not. Stop. Talking?

• “I can’t decide if I should wear my hair up or down today…”
• “It’s just really weird that this character only shows up on Mondays…”
• “Don’t YOU think it’s weird that she only shows up on Mondays?”
• “THIS character says she takes cinema very seriously… I don’t even know what that means.”
• “What do you think I should wear?”
• “Do you see Scruff lying on your feet?”
• “Isn’t he CUTE?”
• “He’s asking, ‘Why is Hannah here? Isn’t she supposed to be in the big building?’”
• “Cuz he sees the big building every morning when we go to school.”
• “I’m hungry.”
• “I don’t know what I want to eat.”
• “Wow, my stomach just grumbled.”
• “Maybe it’s just a bubble from my coffee.”
• “Do you think it’s cool that I like coffee?”
• “Did YOU like coffee when YOU were ten?”
• “I wonder what I should have to eat.”
• “Can I make myself a little snack?”

You’ve never experienced any of that? Me neither.

But if I did, then I’d probably be unable to write a coherent blog post and would be tempted to just ramble and rant instead.

As a child of the 80s, I have a special place in my heart for the movie Back to the Future.

Michael J Fox? Cutie. 80s wardrobe? Laughable. Crispin Glover? Creepy even then…

Anyway, recently my friend Bridget (the same Bridget who hosted the AMAZING blog carnival on Peace yesterday check it out over thirty entries!) did a post on HER connection to my favorite movie about time-traveling DeLoreans.

And get this: Bridget went to the high school where they filmed the movie!!!! For all the stalkeresque fascinating details, read it here.

Today, only a couple weeks after her post, I came across this video of Tom Wilson, aka “Biff” of Back to the Future fame. Did you know that he’s a stand-up comic now? Me neither, but apparently he is. And I have to say that he’s a whole lot more funny and cool than the character he played.

If you’ve ever wondered what it was like for him to work on that movie, well… don’t do this:

I’m here to help.

(And I SO want him to say “Butthead” on MY friend’s answering machine. Just sayin.)

Sky a vibrant blue.
So bright that it makes your
Whole face squinch up.

Only hours before…
All gray. Wet. Cold.

And hours from now,
Gusts will scud feathery
Clouds across the blue.

Wind rocking oaks and pines.
Saplings and pillars of 100 years,
And some will fall.

But for now, a lull.
Aching beauty, still
And warm.

Time between storms
Is short. And even when
It’s not short, it’s always
Between.
Storms.

Yes, I say,
But that’s weather.
Everyone knows it’s
Never the same.

The only thing to
Truly predict is
The unexpected.

Wait.

So smiling TV suit says
Expect storms,
And I do.

But still small voice
whispers across centuries,
In this world you
Will have trouble.

And I
Keep hoping that
The last storm was
The.
Last.
Storm.

Perhaps I’d be
Better off
Holding a lull
Loosely.

Face to sun,
Eyes squinched,
Sponging up warmth.

But not expecting it
To stay.

Knowing that clear skies
Will give way
To shadow

For as long as we
Remain in a world
Of shadows.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

-Jesus
(John 16:32-33)

This is my entry on
PEACE
for today’s One Word at a Time
Blog Carnival

Serendipity (N.)

Definition: finding something unexpected and useful while searching for something else entirely.

Usage: Last night on the Twitter, my friend Nick the Geek offered a pile of dog hair to anyone who wanted it.

Well, what serendipity! I had just decided on my topic for today’s post. DOG HAIR.

Now you might think that an offer of dog hair could not be considered “useful” in any context. But you would be wrong.

An abundance of extra dog hair would be tremendously serendipitous within a certain community of crafters. Yes, I’m talking about people who make things with dog hair.

No, not this:

Although I imagine there’s a market for it with skinny little rat dogs.

***

And not this:

But I have my suspicions…

***

No, what I’m really referring to is THIS:

Read this tag line with me, shall we?
“Better a sweater from a dog you know and love than from a sheep you’ll never meet”

Really?

Really.

Now I know what you’re asking… Are some people actually insane enough to knit an garment from dog hair?

Yes. Yes they are.

From within the book:

“What could be more delightful than wearing mittens from your Malamute, or a sweater from your Samoyed?”

and

“You’re harvesting what would normally end up clogging your vacuum cleaner anyway.”

Well okay then. With the vacuum cleaner logic, I guess I should start making pottery out of dog poo?

(Just supplement Fido’s diet with a healthy serving of CLAY….)

***

Some of you still don’t believe that people do this, do you? For you, I have evidence.

Behold:

The Dog Hair Scarf

(Found by googling: knit with dog hair)

***

But the scarf has NOTHING on this:

Wait for it…

…

The Sweater

Along with (presumably) the fiber sources

Personally, I think the little flower appliques are a nice touch.

So Nick? You needed to do something with some extra dog hair?

I got your serendipity right here.

PS  AND I now know what to do with my own fiber source:

PPS While I find myself hilarious, I have to encourage you to click over to Amazon and read the reviews of the book.

Pay special attention to NedMuffin. He might be my new muse.

Now that I’ve emerged from my strange-and-most-likely-hormone-induced fog, I’d like to say that I’m no longer Twuant (*absent from the Twitter). I’d like to say that. But really, my visits to the Twitter have still been sporadic.

But lucky you… I’m gonna participate in the Twitter Ho-Down at Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants anyway!

And maybe luckier you… it’s a short post.

Enjoy… a sampler of the wit and wisdom of redclaydiaries…

Steph: @CandySteele When exactly do you don the coconut bra next week?

Candy: @redclaydiaries By Tuesday I’ll be sporting it proudly yet humbly. I have a huge hat.

S: @CandySteele Huge hat? Gimme a second. I’m trying to think of a way to connect huge hat & coconut bra in the most TWSS* way possible… (*That’s What She Said)

C: @redclaydiaries well good luck with that. I’ve become twitter smart AND street smart

S: @CandySteele Aw, don’t count me out yet…. I could compare hat size to coconut size…

C: @redclaydiaries Precisely the intent.

***

Sarah Salter: Hey, guess what? It’s hump day!

Steph: @sarahmsalter Oh, now that is RIFE with possibilities. U must WANT us to embarrass you.

Sa: @redclaydiaries Resist the temptation, Steph. Resist the temptation.

St: @sarahmsalter You should know by now that I’m not very good at resisting temptation.

Sa: @redclaydiaries Practice makes perfect.

Wendy @weightwhat: @sarahmsalter TWSS!!

St: @weightwhat SNORT. Good morning! Wanna gang up on @sarahmsalter with me?

W: @redclaydiaries Is there a better way to start the day?

***

Steph: @billycoffey Good mahnin Mr Coffey!

Billy: @redclaydiaries Nice accent Steph

S: @billycoffey I’ve decided to stop fighting it. I’ve got 3 Southern kids; I’m as good as a Southerner now.

B: @redclaydiaries Now see, at least you have that going for you.

S: @billycoffey There ARE certain words I refuse to say. I will never call a shopping cart a buggy.

B: @redclaydiaries But that’s what it is.

S: @billycoffey NO IT IS NOT. A BUGGY IS PULLED BY A HORSE IN LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. THE END.

B: @redclaydiaries Slowly…backing…away….

***

Hmm. Maybe the hormones aren’t ENTIRELY out of my system…

Lately it seems like my neck has a crick in it all the time. Not one of those “I can’t move my head and therefore have an excuse for not doing laundry or dusting” cricks. (I WISH.) More of a “This is annoying and every time I turn my head I sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies” crick.

So I’ve decided that I need a new fluffy pillow. It may do nothing for my neck physically, but I’m so suggestible that I’ll BELIEVE that it’s helping. And therefore it will. (Sometimes a vivid imagination is a real asset.)

Fortunately, a sore neck is the only sleep issue that I seem to have right now.

(Okay, and the occasional night sweats. Which are a b****, by the way.)

Anyway, I’ve never sleepwalked. (sleptwalked? sleptwalk?) Which is good because I hear that that can lead to some awkward situations. (Like when a college friend caught his little brother sleepwalking. In the kitchen. In front of the silverware drawer. Peeing into said drawer.)

Charlie says I snore a little. (Which I know for the King of Understatement and Tolerance probably means that I snore like a buzzsaw. Strapped to a jet engine. In a tunnel.)

(But as long as he lets me, I intend to live in a full state of denial on the subject.)

I’m pretty sure I don’t talk in my sleep. But I just learned about someone who does (and a spouse who takes advantage of it – with hilarious results).

Here’s the deal: Some nice mild-mannered Englishman happens to have a sleeptalking problem. And his long-suffering wife, after years of listening to her husband’s random statements while sound asleep, started recording them. Then she started a blog, which is entirely made up of her transcriptions of what he blurts out.

Some of my favorites:

“You can’t be a pirate if you don’t have a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules.”

“I’m baking pillows. Burn them slowly, keeps them fluffy! Mmmmmm, pillows.”

“My badger’s gonna unleash hell on your ass. Badgertastic!”

“No, not the cats. Don’t trust them. Their eyes. Their eyes. They know too much.”

(Now is a good time to point out that this site is not suitable for all audiences. Besides the occasional salty language, one theme seems to come up fairly often. HINT: This IS a GUY dreaming.)

Apparently now they’re getting all famous, appearing on TV shows, etc. But you can say you saw it HERE first. Unless you saw it this week on NBC’s Today Show.

(But if you did, please don’t tell me. My state of denial is very comfortable.)

Click the links below if you want to see more:

The Blog: Sleep Talkin Man

Hat Tip to VSL: Very Short List (my pop culture cheat sheet)

“Mom. MOM. Didn’t you hear the alarm to leave for the bus stop? We’re ready to go for a RIDE!”

I’m feeling rather poetic today. Why?

Maybe it’s the view outside my kitchen window:

Thin lavender clouds,
strewn like tattered
throw rugs along a pale horizon.

(Is “throw rug” ever a poetic phrase?)

Or it might be the song that’s stuck in my head:

Trousers loosed,
Abandoned to battle
gravity – beltless.
Imprudent-seeming, you
Speed their journey to earth.

(Not sure what the song is? Hopefully viewing this will clear it up.)

(Sorry/You’re welcome.)

Hey.

You should at least be glad I posted. It’s not like I’ve been doing THAT very often lately.