The other night Charlie and I were watching Design Star on the HGTV. Which we normally view between The Ultimate Fighter and What Not to Wear. Except during football season. (Our viewing choices, they are schizophrenic.) At the end of this episode of Design Star, the network aired a commercial for a new show. At [...]

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One day. One whole day’s worth. That’s how much freedom I got to experience with the start of school. Well, technically, it was a day and a half. But that doesn’t matter; what’s important is that I’m an idiot. The details of my descent into dementia aren’t really relevant. Okay, one detail is totally relevant. [...]

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HOW long has it been since my last post? It feels like my summer has been kidnapped. Which is why I found this site so entertaining: The Ransom Note Generator. Simply type in the text of your ransom note, and it’s magically converted into your generic everyday disgruntled loner magazine letter script. Take a look [...]

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. (Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.) SNORT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA. (Sorry. It’s just that…um… EASY? … what was I THINKING?) What’s really funny is that I started out writing a post about how this summer HAS been easy…-er. More easy. Easy-ish. Seriously, it HAS been different from past years, when having all three kids [...]

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So I saw this picture on Twitter yesterday and wanted to share with you. And now I can’t decide… Does it require a parental advisory? Or an NSFW*? (*Not suitable for work) Help me out here… What do you think? Ernestine just had to show off the amazing results from her recent butt-lift. (caption credit: [...]

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What you are about to read is NOT fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is 100% accurate. This kind of thing really does happen here. Way too often. Abby was upside-down on the couch again. Stomach to the seat, legs against the back, head hanging down toward floor. THUD. Her head made floor [...]

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HELLO. MY NAME IS SCRUFF! I’m the little dog  in the family! Mommy loves me! And I love Mommy! Dad scares me. One time he made me pee on the floor. How? By telling me NO. In a BIG SCARY voice. SQUIRREL! SNIFF! SNIFF… … HELLO. MY NAME IS SCRUFF! The other day Mommy bought [...]

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It’s a sign of the apocalypse. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you’ve already figured out that my writing comes in waves. Sometimes I go weeks between posts; others, I’m a posting machine. If I could predict it, I would. If I could modulate it, I would. But I can’t. So [...]

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Self-control, self-control… How in the world will I write about self-control for today’s One Word Blog Carnival? It’s not like I’m a shining example of self-control or its cousin self-discipline. Listen. Last night, I couldn’t even control myself with my middle child. I couldn’t keep myself from MAKING HER LIFE MISERABLE. It all started when [...]

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Sometimes when too much time passes between my writing sessions, the creativity builds up like magma under an Icelandic volcano with an unpronounceable name. Then a day comes along when the creativity magma blasts a hole in the glacier of housework that I’m supposed to be doing, shooting shards of crazy into the atmosphere over [...]

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