This post is for Bridget Chumbley’s One Word Blog Carnival. Go visit to read more on this week’s word: Ego.
Two of my children are approaching their teen years. They’re tweens, in today’s language. And their tweenitude comes with a healthy dose of insecurity, embarrassment, and self-centeredness. Everyone else is looking at them, making fun of them, and trying to be better than them.
I remembered that phase of my life when looking at Facebook posts about my high school’s 25th reunion this month.
(Shut up. Yes, I’m THAT old.)
I couldn’t make it all the way back to California. But I didn’t need to be there to be affected by it. When I flipped through Facebook photos and my old yearbooks, all the old feelings came flooding back. Shyness. Insecurity. Fear. Intimidation.
That’s adolescence for all of us, right? Right? We were all insecure then, right?
Well, except for those cheerleaders. The ones in eighth grade who scowled when my friend accidentally launched a pushup popsicle across the lunch area toward their table. And my group dissolved in hysterics. Clearly, they really THOUGHT they were better than we were. THEY weren’t insecure. THEY were the enemy, out to get us.
And those volleyball players. And the drama geeks. And the band kids. And the FFA’ers. (I grew up in central California, okay? Future Farmers of America was BIG there.)
THEY weren’t insecure. THEIR egos were inflated. I could totally tell by how I felt when I was around them. CLEARLY they made it their goal to wound MY ego.
Clearly. I didn’t (don’t!) have an ego.
Right?
***
e·go [ee-goh, eg-oh]
egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes more unbearable each day.
self-esteem or self-image; feelings: Your criticism wounded his ego.
***
How different are they, really? Does that cheerleader from 8th grade describe ME in the same way?
Something to think about.
12 responses so far ↓
1 katdish // Jul 27, 2010 at 12:23 am
Insecurity comes in many forms. The saddest people I saw at my last high school reunion were the ones who stubbornly clung to the identities they had 20 years ago. Incidentally, every time an old classmate finds me on facebook they say the same thing: You look the same as you did in high school. Not sure if that’s meant as a compliment or not.
2 Robin Arnold // Jul 27, 2010 at 12:45 am
One of the pastors I used to work for said that hell was going to be like eternal junior high.
As the mother of TWO tweens, you just went up on a higher pedestal. I bow before you.
3 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // Jul 27, 2010 at 1:03 am
Kat, I agree. Some of us changed a LOT. Others seem to have tried to stay the same (but more and more plasticky as the years passed).
4 Bridget // Jul 27, 2010 at 2:18 am
In just one more month, I’ll officially be the mom of two… yes, two teenagers.
I think that those who act the most secure, are probably just as insecure as the rest of us.
Well said, Steph.
5 Glynn // Jul 27, 2010 at 6:47 am
I sometimes think that the “popular kids” — of which I was not one during middle or high school — were likely the most insecure of all. It takes a big ego to hide a big insecurity. Good post.
6 kelly@tabithas-team // Jul 27, 2010 at 8:54 am
Nothing like remembering our own adolescence to get a real feel for ego. I also have a teen and preteen in the house, so we have ample supply of ego.
7 Jeff // Jul 27, 2010 at 10:44 am
Somewhere along the way, I developed an ego while realizing I wasn’t better than anyone else. I was a nerd, but I like me, so my self esteem is doing pretty well.
But I did look at the stuff about my 10-year reunion (oh yeah, only ten years out) this Summer and realize that I struggled with it back then. I put on a good front, but inside, I just wanted to be seen as cool. My wife told me that the only reason she could see me going was to show people how cool I was now. She’s very kind to me.
8 Wendy // Jul 27, 2010 at 12:11 pm
I’m sure you were the only normal one there in your school. Just like I was the only normal one. Nope, no ego problems for us. But I do wonder why everyone is always looking at us, Steph…
9 jasonS // Jul 27, 2010 at 1:48 pm
The ‘more and more plasticky’ that you described is called plastic surgery.
There was a time in high school for about 6 months where I wasn’t plagued by constant insecurity (can’t remember when exactly). It came and went, but boy, I’d love to find the happy medium…
10 Helen // Jul 27, 2010 at 3:35 pm
I know the feeling. Everyone didn’t hate me… Most of them didn’t know I existed.
11 Scott Couchenour // Jul 27, 2010 at 6:30 pm
All I know is this: my insecurity didn’t die at high school commencement. Why, just this morning I had to silence it or let it raise my ego. Again.
Good post. Thought-provoking.
12 Billy Coffey // Jul 28, 2010 at 10:03 am
I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m pretty sure I’m even more insecure now than I was back then. There are a lot of people who want to go back and have a do-over. Not me. I want to get as far away from my high school days as possible.
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