Sometimes when too much time passes between my writing sessions, the creativity builds up like magma under an Icelandic volcano with an unpronounceable name.
Then a day comes along when the creativity magma blasts a hole in the glacier of housework that I’m supposed to be doing, shooting shards of crazy into the atmosphere over Twitter.
Then apparently planes can’t fly through clouds of crazy….
….Annnnd the metaphor crashes to the ground in flames.
Anyway, so today I was talking on the Twitter today about an ass clown.
Okay, technically an IMAGINARY ass clown. It started out yesterday as an ash cloud, but then my church-and-Twitter friend @lewismoats called it an ass clown. Which I stole because it made me snort. And mentioned today on the Twitter, giving offense to half of my followers and making the other half snort with laughter.
What? Why was I talking about an ash-cloud-turned-ass-clown? You didn’t read the news? About the ash cloud over Europe that came from Mount Eyjafjallajowhatsajosaurus? It trapped my husband in France this week.
Yep, he booked his once-a-year trip to England for the EXACT day that Mount Eyjafjallajowhojsasnickeljofifer spewed deadly ashes and closed British airspace.
You read that right: DEADLY ashes. A cloud of them. Apparently jet engines don’t like the taste – or razor-sharp abrasiveness – of volcanic ash.
Whatever. All I know is that I spent all day Thursday on my cellphone and computer, trying to help Charlie figure out how to get from Paris to London. In the end, our English friends helped him get a miracle train ticket on the totally-sold-out Eurostar.
So all’s well that ends well.
Charlie’s in England.
I’ve let off a little crazy-tinged steam.
And now I’m ready to start telling you about all the fun and excitement of Spring Break during a book launch that I had to publicize day and night while three kids watched too much TV and drank too much soda which might have something to do with how much they fought like cats and dogs. And my actual dogs took turns pooing in the house and eating baby bunnies. (ON Easter Sunday!) And the pollen came and we did actually go skating and I wore a dress for the first time in over a year (no, not while skating).
Stay tuned…. Don’t you feel lucky to have me back?
21 responses so far ↓
1 Duane Scott // Apr 17, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Snort.
2 HisFireFly // Apr 17, 2010 at 1:55 pm
But of COURSE we’re happy to have you back. You unique form of insanity is delightful and helps us forget about our own!
3 kathy // Apr 17, 2010 at 2:01 pm
*snort* here too
4 Candy // Apr 17, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Oh your pretty head is a curious place. Such an enjoyable one to visit. Can’t wait to hear about dog poo.
5 Wendy // Apr 17, 2010 at 2:54 pm
My head is spinning now. And I like it. That’s why I read your blog.
6 katdish // Apr 17, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I actually heard a newcaster say those exact words: “an Icelandic volcano with an unpronounceable name”. True story.
I think you should write a short story. Serge the Icelandic Ass Clown. You’re welcome. Again.
7 Lori Lamb // Apr 17, 2010 at 3:53 pm
From the post title, I thought this would be about Michael Bolton.
8 BunBun // Apr 17, 2010 at 5:57 pm
They ate baby bunnies? OH THE RABBITITY!!!!
9 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // Apr 17, 2010 at 6:42 pm
BunBun, I’m really sorry, but that word you used just makes me think of rabbit titties. And I don’t think that’s what you were going for…
10 Robin Arnold // Apr 17, 2010 at 7:09 pm
I thought we hated clowns?
11 Sarah Salter // Apr 17, 2010 at 7:23 pm
So, behinds and breasts… Why didn’t somebody tell me that we were having an anatomy lesson today?
12 Katdish // Apr 17, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Robin – We do hate clowns! Beware the Ass Clown!
13 Kathy // Apr 18, 2010 at 10:35 am
I’m glad your husband got out of there! I can’t wait to hear all about Spring Break
14 Billy Coffey // Apr 19, 2010 at 10:15 am
Ah Steph, how I’ve missed you.
15 Karin Katherine // Apr 19, 2010 at 7:54 pm
Sometimes I go awhile in-between posts…but I *never* shoot one to the moon like that post!
; 0 )
16 Marni // Apr 20, 2010 at 11:03 am
Our local newscasters actually had a contest to see who could pronounce the volcano’s name correctly. It was hi-lar-i-ous to hear them butcher it. As it stands, I still can’t pronounce it because I’ve yet to hear it pronounced correctly. I’ve been calling it “ass clown” since seeing your tweet about it.
Please tell me you have pictures of you in the dress…I’m waiting patiently to see it.
17 bman // Apr 21, 2010 at 8:22 am
I’m pretty sure this was a terrific post for me to start reading everyone’s blogs again to. I think my favorite part was your continued renaming of that crazy Icelandic volcano. I just think you left out a few “vyyyvyyyeyyy’s”.
18 Joy // Jul 28, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Ahhhhh…. it all becomes clear now. Who knew there was an instructional blog on the usage of “ass clown” ?
19 Jake // Aug 10, 2010 at 2:28 pm
There’s so much to be said about deadly ass clowns. First of all, they’re offensive to everyone, because they’re deadly. Secondly, I think the last one I saw looked eerily similar to that Lady Gaga character- I’m relatively sure that’s standard for ass clowns– definitely so for the deadly ones.
As to the beginning of your post, the funny thing about being blogstipated is that it’s all going to come out eventually, right? It’s always messy when that happens.
thanks for making my day. Thanks to Kathy for DM-ing me the link so I could have this experience with you
20 All roads lead to Ass Clown | The Red Clay Diaries // Oct 6, 2010 at 11:03 pm
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21 Still looking back and looking forward | Katdish.net // Jan 5, 2011 at 11:07 pm
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