BUSYBUSYBUSYBUSY…

Today I have to visit the Apple Store’s Genius Bar. Because my iPhone has delusions of grandeur. Yesterday, I woke up from a nap to discover that my pocket-size iPhone thinks it’s an iPad, or at least the size of one. The screen has somehow zoomed in so far that I can only view 2 buttons at a time on the home screen. (Normally, you can see 12.) I’ve tried everything I can think of, including the infamous “turn it off, wait ten minutes, and pray that it somehow fixed itself” method.

Anyway, this is an urgent problem because we leave on a trip in a very short time. The critical info:

Location: Israel.

Activity: Tour with John Maxwell and members of his church.

Purpose: Business and pleasure.

I’d write more about my trip now, but frankly I have to leave the house in 10 minutes or risk angering the Apple Genius.

Since I’m having computerish problems, this bit on a friend’s Facebook page made me laugh.

(I have no idea who the source is. Probably NOT an Apple Genius.)

Who’s On First for the 21st Century

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: Word in Office for Windows..

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’…………..

***

NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING:

How does a blogger FORGET to mention that she’s preparing for a trip to the Middle East until only days before she leaves? Let’s just say I don’t multitask well. If I’M not thinking about it until the weekend before, you can’t expect me to tell YOU about it.

But I promise, I’ll try to make it up to you with more details and hopefully some posts “on location.”

Now excuse me; an iPhone intervention awaits.