Did you ever have one of those days when you can’t stop yawning? But your jaw aches for some reason and a big yawn makes it feel like it’s dislocating? Then you think about how much yawning hurts, which makes you yawn even more?
Have you ever wished your kid would Just. Stop. Talking? And she’s home from school with you because her eyes hurt so you’re wondering if it’s pinkeye, but it might just be that she rubbed them too much last night after getting something in them? And now she’s feeling chipper and wants to chat about her Nintendo DS game about fashion and what you think she should make her character wear?
Do you ever gaze at your TV screen and wonder where all that dust on it came from? And then you remember that you live on a dirt road, which explains the dust but not the dog hair on the kitchen floor or the goo on the bathroom counter but you choose not to focus on those and try to think of ways to get the county to pave your road because that would solve your entire cleaning problem?
And your kid still Will. Not. Stop. Talking?
- “I can’t decide if I should wear my hair up or down today…”
- “It’s just really weird that this character only shows up on Mondays…”
- “Don’t YOU think it’s weird that she only shows up on Mondays?”
- “THIS character says she takes cinema very seriously… I don’t even know what that means.”
- “What do you think I should wear?”
- “Do you see Scruff lying on your feet?”
- “Isn’t he CUTE?”
- “He’s asking, ‘Why is Hannah here? Isn’t she supposed to be in the big building?’”
- “Cuz he sees the big building every morning when we go to school.”
- “I’m hungry.”
- “I don’t know what I want to eat.”
- “Wow, my stomach just grumbled.”
- “Maybe it’s just a bubble from my coffee.”
- “Do you think it’s cool that I like coffee?”
- “Did YOU like coffee when YOU were ten?”
- “I wonder what I should have to eat.”
- “Can I make myself a little snack?”
You’ve never experienced any of that? Me neither.
But if I did, then I’d probably be unable to write a coherent blog post and would be tempted to just ramble and rant instead.
15 responses so far ↓
1 jasonS // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:24 pm
Well played and nicely done.
2 Robin Arnold // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Why don’t you play let’s-pretend-there-is-a-hidden-microphone-and-we-have-to-be-very-very-quiet. Or, give her a dust rag and put her busy. Which, maybe she’s allergic to dust? And, coffee=chattiness. Look what I’m doing.
3 Erin // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:41 pm
This is my life. Except without the dirt road. But somehow there is a lot of dust anyway.
4 Marni // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Is ten worse? Because Peyton is 9 and her incessant questions make me want to drink somedays. JK! (or not, you decide). This was our day yesterday…
I saw you sign us up for the mission trip to Mexico.
What does tentatively mean mom?
Where in Mexico would we go? Isn’t Matamoros kinda dangerous? Would we stay at a Holiday Inn. Shayla stayed at a Holiday Inn once and said it had a great pool.
How long will it take to get my passport? Can I wear my pink Justice shirt in my passport picture. Is the picture in color cuz if not, I’ll just wear gray. Wouldn’t that be funny? Can I get highlights in my hair for my picture? How old was Lindsay when you let her start getting highlights.
How long is the bus trip to Mexico? Can I bring my DS? Do we still have those ear patches to keep me from getting car sick? No? You better call Dr Felty and get those ordered.
Is Sidney’s family going to Mexico too? Can she sit with me on the bus? Can she stay in our room? We’re not gonna be in a room? What’s a dorm? What’s a missionary house?
I don’t speak Spanish. Only daddy does. But he doesn’t know nice words, just things like “Show me your hands. Where are the drugs? Put the knife down!” That won’t be nice to say to the orphans we’re helping.
Mama, what if I was an orphan. Would you adopt me? Was Lindsay adopted. I think she was cuz she acts weird, not like our family.
Will it be hot in Mexico? Can I wear shorts or would that be UNappropriate? Can you buy me some longer shorts? And that cool sunscreen that turns purple when it’s time to put more on?
And that was just on the drive to Home Group. I took two Tylenol as soon as we got home. I gave Peyton a Benedryl. JK! (or not, you decide)
5 Marni // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Also? I live less than a mile from a cement plant. I have to dust every day or this house would look like a Pompeii display gone bad.
6 Glynn // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:45 pm
This is a lot of a lot of our lives. The normal of daily life. It’s like reading successive tweets on Twitter as a single conversation.
7 Heather of the EO // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Nope, I never think any of that sort of random stuff. EVER. (ahem)
8 Nick the Geek // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:47 pm
yeah because writing 17 bullets that a tween may or may not have said isn’t rambling and ranting.
9 katdish // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Rachel: I don’t have anything to wear today. I can’t wear jeans because we’re having a fitness test, but I hate these leggings because I don’t have anything to go with them. Mom, I don’t want to go to school today. What? No, really my stomach hurts and look I have a stuffy nose. No, I don’t LIKE those pants, and they don’t match my shirt. Why can’t I stay home from school, I told you I wasn’t feeling good. Okay, I’ll wear jeans. Can I have a cupcake for breakfast? Please? Please? Please? Why not? But I don’t want cereal. Okay, but I don’t want milk…(infinity)
10 Bridget Chumbley // Feb 1, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I wish I lived on a dirt road so I could say that is why my house is dusty!
My son went to school Friday and as I was driving home he text me that he wasn’t feeling well. I turned around and went back for him and could see he looked miserable and his stomach was a mess.
A few hours after being home and his stomach settling down this is what it sounded like…
Boy: Mom, want to watch a movie with me?
Me: Not right now, I have some things to do.
Boy: Can you make me something to eat?
Me: You just had lunch.
Boy: That was an hour ago, I’m hungry.
Me: I thought your stomach hurt…
Boy: It did, I’m feeling a little better now.
It went on and on and on and on…
And now I am yawning… thanks, Steph!
11 Lianne // Feb 1, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Dust is not necessarily a by-product of a dirt road. Just FYI.
I think I’ve had that same conversation at least three times a day in the last year. Except it involves Webkinz.
12 joyce // Feb 1, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Girl children=days like this. And when girl children go off to college they call you and you have conversations like this one over the phone. Except by that point in time you are missing the chattiness and you’re happy to talk nonsense.
Perhaps switch her to decaf?
13 the domestic fringe // Feb 1, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I think rambling and ranting is good for the soul. Every once in a while.
-FringeGirl
14 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // Feb 1, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Everyone, thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone!
Nick: RE: “that a tween might or might not have said”: VERBATIM. I transcribed as she talked. She was too busy talking to notice me typing.
Joyce, Robin, anyone else: I never thought to clarify the caffeine. She WAS drinking decaf. The idea of her having caffeine is chilling.
15 Steffj89 // Feb 1, 2010 at 11:05 pm
ok well I have a 6 y.o. boy who is something like that….
Mom Im the smartest kid right?
Was dad the smartest kid you knowed when you were my age?
How come I cant wear these together they both have blue
Its really not too little I just didnt like it when my head got stuck(ok now seriously if his head got stuck in it a month ago, what makes him think it will be bigger today:?)
Mom did you play Wii when you was a kid?
When did pop buy you your first laptop
Mom can I have a laptop?
My stereos the loudest mom
Do you like that song guy on my stereo mom(yeah considering its MY Bon Jovi CD he took)
Tanner looked at my stereo mom, hes gonna break it
can we live in a different house?
i dont want to go to school if I cant take my dog tomorrow
Where does this stuff come into their brain even?
They have had snow days since Thurs, have eaten between them over 200$ worth of groceries only to whine every 30 minutes that they are starving and we NEVER feed them anything good….
Steff
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