Today’s Works for Me Wednesday post:

How to remove burnt odors from a microwave.

But first some parenting advice:

When your tween child asks you how long to warm a Quaker oatmeal bar in the microwave, it would behoove you to be 100% focused on him when you answer.

(Okay, I was just looking for an excuse to say “behoove.”)

“Mom, how long should I put it in?”

“Mmm?”

(I was in the middle of helping Hannah register for a new kids’ website and doing battle with our Internet filters.)

“Moooommmm! How long? Three minutes?”

(Yes, my son has apparently inherited my ability to pull numbers out of the air.)

“Mmmm, yeah.”

And the rest is history.

(FYI: the package says five SECONDS.)

Eight open windows, one wiped-down microwave, and five sets of watery eyes later, I was online looking for solutions.

Good news! I found tons of home remedies, video tutorials, and encouraging suggestions for solving the problem.

In other good news, I now know all the home remedies that don’t work.

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I think a WFMW by me on this subject would have to be very short:

Buy a new microwave.

The end.

***

So I’ll have to do a What Does Not Work for Me Wednesday (WDNWFMW).

Here are the remedies you can skip if this ever happens to you:

1. Tea leaves in water, boiled and left in oven for 10 minutes or until you remember it’s there. No change. Now I’m just craving a cuppa.
2. Bowl of baking soda left in oven overnight. Microwave is laughing at me.
3. A teaspoon of lemon juice concentrate in about a cup of water, boiled and taken out quickly because you’re impatient. No change. Oooh! Tea with lemon! That sounds delicious!
4. A tablespoon of vanilla (What? They said it’d smell wonderful.) in 1 cup of water, boiled and left for an hour. A change! Unfortunately, now the oven smells like burnt caramel corn. Suddenly I want to go to a county fair.
5. The juice of half a fresh lemon in 1 cup water, boiled and left for HOURS. A teeny tiny bit of progress. Now when I open the microwave, I  flashback to an early job as a dishwasher…

My microwave now smells like: lemon-fresh dish soap, caramel corn, burnt nastiness, and a hint of coffee (from all the times we warm up a cup throughout the day).

Verdict: What had the biggest effect on our microwave odor?

Reheating at least ten cups of coffee in it. And the passage of time.

I think a trip to Walmart is in my future.

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No, really, you’re too kind. I’m just here to help. You’re welcome.

Originally posted January 16, 2009