Sitting here on the couch, I’m surrounded by dogs and laundry. The dogs only cause problems when I trip over them. But the laundry….
The laundry is my nemesis. Hangers litter one sofa cushion. Baskets compete for the socks that I’m folding.
After three weeks of feeling BLEH, I am unbelievably behind on washing clothes.
This morning, like almost every morning in the past five days, Hannah came down the hall in her pajamas.
“Mom? Are there any clean clothes in the laundry room for me to put away? Cuz I don’t have anything to wear.”
“No.”
“Why haven’t you been doing any laundry?!”
“I’ve been sick, remember?”
Now, Hannah owns plenty of clothes. As any parent can guess, she’s complaining because her five favorite outfits are in the wash. She did go to school clothed today.
But there was no denying anymore that I HAD TO do laundry today.
I WANTED TO write a blog post on Trust.
But I HAD TO do laundry.
***
What’s funny is that my laundering duty has a lot to do with trust.
It’s a job that has been entrusted to me in this family. My kids trust me to wash their jeans and keep their closets stocked. Charlie trusts me to wash often enough for him to stay away from his “B” underwear.
And I haven’t been very trustworthy lately.
Yeah, I know, I’ve been sick. I know it’s wrong to feel guilty for that, since it’s been out of my control.
But I’m not really talking about the last few weeks.
In general, even when well, I’m not as reliable as I’d like to be.
My family trusts me to shop and launder and vacuum, yet I’m not consistent at it.
Charlie trusts me to spend our money wisely. And I do well for awhile, but then I eventually forget exactly how much money IS budgeted for groceries. (“Was it $200/week? Or $2000?”)
God trusts me with some important things too.
This body.
My time.
My talents.
Our three children.
Every relationship in this life.
I don’t think I do a good enough job at any of those things.
Why?
I forget that I hold them in trust.
Lately, this has begun to weigh on me. I’m 42, so I’m sure it’s some kind of midlife re-reckoning or something. But I suspect that it’s a good thing.
Here’s the deal: I’ve been too casual with this borrowed life.
I waste too much of “my” time – a finite number of minutes given to me, and then gone. I have talents that I allow fear, laziness, or busyness keep me from developing. I often forget that parenting should be a VERB and just kinda let it happen. Days, months, then years fly by, and I allow some relationships to deteriorate. Others I allow to remain broken, taking no initiative to fix them.
And the clock keeps ticking.
Please God, make me worthy of your trust.
Today, I devoted myself to catching up on laundry. May I devote myself that fully to catching up on this life that’s been loaned to me.
For more on the subject of TRUST, visit Bridget Chumbley’s One Word Blog Carnival.
I’d say this post also falls under What I Learned this Week at Musings of a Housewife. Visit there for what others have learned.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Bridget Chumbley // Oct 20, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Now I am totally convicted, Steph!
This post is great and I can completely relate.
“Here’s the deal: I’ve been too casual with this borrowed life.”
Thank you for this!
2 Marni // Oct 20, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I’ve found myself too casual with my borrowed life as well. I needed the reminder. Good stuff Maynard.
Also, I’m all caught up on my laundry. I just wanted to encourage you with that.
3 Helen // Oct 20, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Yikes. I got some housework to go do now…Thanks for that, Steph..
4 Russell Holloway // Oct 20, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I detest laundry myself
“Please God, make me worthy of your trust.” What a beautiful prayer
5 Daniel Slocum // Oct 20, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Don’t for a minute forget that the enemy is subtle. He will hold you down with this feeling if you let him. Stand up and fight, do everything as unto The Lord, even laundry.
6 Candy // Oct 20, 2009 at 2:57 pm
When I was 42, which wasn’t all that long ago in dog years, I would have benefited from these powerful realizations. I was too entitled, too busy, too something. These are beautiful words and I have eaten them. He has heard your prayer.
7 Anne Lang Bundy // Oct 20, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Oh, Steph! I can’t BELIEVE you posted this. I’ve been working like crazy on a manuscript, letting things go, and hit the laundry room last night. Aaack! I thought as long as I stayed on top of whites and nobody ran out of socks and underwear, we’re good. I felt so guilty to see my family’s favorites sitting downstairs where they couldn’t be worn. (Guess what I’ve been doing today, in between a million other things, feeling guilty the whole time?)
I beat myself up over the big ways I fail people. I’m reminded here that being trustworthy is proven in the little things as well. Great, great post!
8 joyce // Oct 20, 2009 at 3:26 pm
This was great…“ I’ve been too casual with this borrowed life”…ow.
9 katdish // Oct 20, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Thank GOODNESS I read this in the afternoon instead of the morning, otherwise I would have never spent so much time on the computer today! Got go wash some underwear…
(Good job, btw.)
10 lane // Oct 20, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Brett doesn’t trust me with the laundry yet…..I shrunk too many shirts and almost his whole wardrobe the first 2 years of marriage….hoping year 4 will be a winner;)
…..in all seriousness, I worry about the unimportant things and the lens in which I view life through gets way out of focus…. far too often.
good post.
11 Kristin // Oct 20, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I hate laundry too – it’s my enemy. But I appreaciate the thoughts that your laundry mountain brought you today. Thanks for sharing!
12 Evenshine // Oct 21, 2009 at 8:01 am
Very nicely put. I, too, have these moments when I realize I’ve been too flippant with the days given me.
Though I do think that illness is a cosmic Dr.’s note.
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