Hello and welcome to my late-arriving Friday post. Let’s just pretend I’m on the West Coast, shall we? Then I can be three hours less late than I really am.

Okay.

Welcome to the Twitter Ho-Down, as hosted by The Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants. Below, the best of ME from this week. I was oddly fixated on one topic every day.

Read from top to bottom (just to change things up) and see if you can spot the pattern. But don’t stop there! Scroll to the bottom to a fun announcement that I’m excited to make!

MONDAY:

Good morning! Late night + early morning = headache. Then again, maybe it’s the rain. I see a quiet day ahead.

Goodnight all. 5 hrs of sleep last night & lovely seal-bark cough. Time to rest. Hope to be more productive tomorrow.

TUESDAY:

Change of plans for the day. Breakfast meeting: cancelled. Middle child: home. Later: pediatrician. In other news, I’m still sick.

@sarahmsalter Apparently. Hannah appears to have PINKEYE. And I’m gonna call MY doc when his office opens & beg for stronger antibiotics.

@sarahmsalter Amen on the pinkeye. I’m just on amoxicillin. It’s not touching this infection. I can hear the mucus laughing at it.

Okay, y’all. Taking a kid to the doc for suspected pinkeye. But not before getting a little ranty: http://bit.ly/1aMnar

WEDNESDAY:

@CandySteele SNORT. Somehow I don’t think my temp rising by a degree overnight is “cured”. Want to punch someone in the kidneys.

@makeadiff21 @katdish If by UPPITY you mean “about to cough a lung out onto her lap,” then yes. I feel uppity.

@makeadiff21 THANK YOU. (cough cough hack hack)

Feeling guilty for vegging, I got up. Instantly exhausted. Vegging recommenced.

@weightwhat Thank you. I shall now consider myself ordered to veg. So let it be done.

At piano lessons. Next, Steak n Shake. Then pick up LC from @12stone. Then home. Then collapse. #beingsickisab*tch

THURSDAY:

Day 1 of Fall Break. Slept in until dogs begged to go out. I think I feel better (fingers crossed). Maybe this drug will kick out the bug.

@sarahmsalter Good morning! Poetry might be a side effect of this antibiotic. I’ll take it if it means I can breathe.

@Brian_Russell You’re welcome. I meant to come back & continue conversation, but schedule & deathly illness got in the way.

@PuriChristos I know I shouldn’t admit this to you, but I think sinus rinse helped me suck the germs right out of my nose & into my lungs

@PuriChristos Oh, and SHADDUP.

@katdish A little coughie. Not to be confused with a little coffey. Which I guess would be one of @billycoffey‘s kids.

Why hello, Seal Bark Cough. So you haven’t left. Just waited till I exerted myself (i.e. walked down the hall). Blergh

RT @charliewetzel: Sick. //WHINER

@sarahmsalter Yeah, I advise avoiding the coughie part. Not @billycoffey of course. Just @hackyourlungoutcoughie

@sarahmsalter Awww. Has anyone PROVEN that H1N1 can’t be transmitted through the twitter? We’re dropping like flies here.

@sarahmsalter @CandySteele I’ll pray for your health. But u might want to deodorize ur keyboards after this conversation.#justsayin

@CandySteele I don’t know! YOU’RE the nurse. Aren’t you an expert on computer germs?

@PuriChristos If by “expert” you mean “source of all” then I agree, YOU must be the expert.

Did you figure it out? I know, I was subtle. But you guys are smart. You guessed it; I was just a little obsessed with the subject of my health.

(Self-centered much?)

Now to the fun news that my friend Billy Coffey just made public: He got a book deal! Yep, someone I know personally (if only online) is getting published.

For the full scoop, and to see just how good of a writer Billy is (y’all, he’s GOOD), click on over to his blog.

PS Two other friends, Katdish and Peter Pollock, were instrumental in helping Billy get his break and setting up his new site. I’m proud to know them too. But I’m too coughie now to think of anything else to say.

[going to go lie down again]