I feel like this post isn’t exactly cohesive, but it represents all that’s swirling around in my heart and mind. So I hope you can bear with my musings…
In elementary Spanish class, we all learned Hola and Adios for Hello and Goodbye.
But it didn’t take me long to realize that only Spanish newbies say Adios. Of course, native speakers know the word. But in my experience, they rarely use it. They seem to prefer a few different phrases:
Hasta manana… Hasta luego… Hasta la vista… Nos vemos…
I don’t know if this is intentional, but the phrases that they use have one thing in common:
Lack of finality.
See you tomorrow… See you later… Until we meet again… We’ll see each other later…
In my travels to Spanish-speaking countries, I hardly ever heard Adios, even when it was time to depart. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be there again, and I’m sure they knew that too. But everyone always said, Nos vemos.
We’ll see each other later.
***
Yesterday my 89-year-old father-in-law passed away. Charlie made it there in time to spend the night at his side and say goodbye.
I told the older two kids soon after I heard the news from Charlie. We’d already talked about how it was probably time. But we still cried together for a little while. Then we smiled at the idea of Grandpa joyfully dancing the foxtrot with Grandma.
Six-year-old Abby had been playing outside on the Slip-n-Slide for all of this. I knew she wouldn’t really get it and wanted to tell her alone. So when she called for me to see her mad sliding skillz, I went out and watched and clapped and cheered.
Then I told Abby that Grandpa was now no longer far away in Tucson, but instead was watching over her, and he liked how well she slid.
A shy smile: “So he’s proud of me?”
“Yes, Sweetie. He’s proud of you. And now he’s up in Heaven with Jesus and Grandma.”
“Momma, look at this rock!” Oh, the attention span of a first-grader… Abby picked up a polished river stone that we’d lined a fountain with over a year ago. “It’s heart-shaped!”
We’d never noticed that unique stone before. But it was indeed shaped just like a heart.
“Abby, I wonder if Jesus helped you notice that special rock to remind you of how much Grandpa loves you.”
***
The smooth stone in the shape of a heart traveled everywhere with us, tucked safely in Abby’s palm, for the rest of the day. At the dentist’s office, the tire store, Starbucks, Walmart, and Publix, she always carried it in from the car.
“This is from my grandpa,” she told everyone she met. “He went to heaven today and left it for us to remember him.”
Such a wonderful gift from our God of comfort to all of us – and especially my little girl. I’m grateful even as I mourn. And I pray that this first experience with death will strengthen the kids’ childlike faith that God can be trusted and will bring us together again.
Nos vemos, Abuelo. We’ll see you again, Grandpa.
20 responses so far ↓
1 Daniel Slocum // Jun 4, 2009 at 1:31 am
So glad Charlie made it. When she’s ready to not carry that stone around with her 24/7 put it in a shadow box for her and hang it on her wall. It’ll be a lifetime memory. Our turn is comming and I have a 6 year old Crysten who will face the same thing. I’m so glad for how you handled it and the gift God gave Abby. I’m sure her Grandpa asked for it personally.
Daniel Slocum’s last blog post..Steak n Shake
2 Heart Shaped Rock | Daniel Slocum’s Blog // Jun 4, 2009 at 2:19 am
[...] drawn post inspiration from my friend Stephanie at The Red Clay Diaries. Today’s blog post Hasta luego, Abuelo will make you smile at the indescribable goodness of God through the miracle gift of a rock to a [...]
3 Jo@Mylestones // Jun 4, 2009 at 6:39 am
Steph- what a beautiful story. You deserve more credit than you give yourself for the wisdom you show in parenting. I love how you handled the conversation with Abby.
So glad that Grandpa knew Jesus and is dancing with Grandma. I know this must be hard, though, for the loved ones that Grandpa left behind.
I too am thankful for a God who can bring us together again…
4 { jamie @ rose cottage } // Jun 4, 2009 at 7:00 am
So sweet. I love the heart-shaped rock. ?
We just went through this with my grandfather a couple of weeks ago, and it is truly so comforting to know that they are now celebrating with the Lord they love. Praying comfort for you all.
{ jamie @ rose cottage }’s last blog post..Brandon’s Graduation!
5 Beth // Jun 4, 2009 at 7:12 am
Okay…teary….how can our kids be maddening one minute and just totally make us putty the next? Hasta luego…
You are a good Momma, Steph.
Beth’s last blog post..Ha Ha
6 Nina in Portugal // Jun 4, 2009 at 7:14 am
Steph,
Beautifully written.
I’m praying for you and your family.
Nina in Portugal’s last blog post..Is It June Already?
7 Candy // Jun 4, 2009 at 7:30 am
What a touching story. Wow, Steph, you did so GOOD! Or perhaps I should say “wow, Abby, you did so good!” You were obviously good for each other in this situation. So sorry about Charlie’s dad, but knowing he’s safe in Jesus’ arms is all you need to comfort you.
Candy’s last blog post..Our Waterfront, er, back Property
8 Helen // Jun 4, 2009 at 8:13 am
I am glad Abby sees God’s presence with her at this time.
Helen’s last blog post..An Awesome Teacher
9 Annie K // Jun 4, 2009 at 8:25 am
Awesome story Steph. That is something Abby will ALWAYS remember. God is indeed so good!
Annie K’s last blog post..NASCAR, Smokey Burnouts And A Garden
10 Screwed Up Texan // Jun 4, 2009 at 9:18 am
Praying for your family during this time. I lost my grandfather (abuelo) almost two years ago.
One more goodbye for ya…
Adios Piojos! <–What my friend and I always say to eachother. jajaja <–lol in spanish
Goobye Lice! <–That’s what adios piojos translates to.
Screwed Up Texan’s last blog post..Springtime Hidden Treasure
11 Wendy // Jun 4, 2009 at 9:31 am
Lovely post! How cool about the rock. Now stop making me cry!
Wendy’s last blog post..Don’t drink the Kool Aid
12 Marni // Jun 4, 2009 at 10:34 am
What a great post! I’m so glad that Abby’s first dealings with losing a loved one was focused on how it’s not goodbye, but see you later. Isn’t our God amazing to teach little Abby that death has been conquered?!? Amen. Thanks for sharing. I’m praying for you all.
PS–because we’re weirdos in my family, we have this running joke in our house that when one of us leaves, instead of saying hasta luego, we say hasty winnebago. Yeah, weird…
Marni’s last blog post..Lindsay’s 18th B-day
13 katdish // Jun 4, 2009 at 10:37 am
Oh, that’s just awesome, Steph! I’m so glad Charlie got to see his dad before he passed.
Hasta luego, melon farmer!
katdish’s last blog post..High Calling Blogs
14 Lauren @ Walking by Faith // Jun 4, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Wow – this was such a beautiful post. I’m so glad I found your blog. My grandfather went to heaven in September last year. My mother in law gave me an angel tree figure called “healing”. I have it on my dresser next to a picture of me and Pap when I was little. I hope your daughter will treasure her rock the rest of her life.
Be Blessed ~ Lauren
Lauren @ Walking by Faith’s last blog post..Thankful Thursday
15 rachel@justanotherdayinparadise // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:19 pm
great post. praying for y’all.
rachel@justanotherdayinparadise’s last blog post..There has never been a more appropriate card. . .
16 Lianne // Jun 4, 2009 at 5:27 pm
What a beautiful tribute to his memory. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Lianne’s last blog post..Dazed and Terrified
17 @ngie // Jun 4, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Es verdad como dices que no usan Adios mucho. Nunca he pensado de la fata de finalidad en sus despedidas. Que hermoso leer tu corazón aquí que tienes la esperanza de ver al abuelo mas tarde. Gracias por compartir algo tan precioso con nosotros.
Ay, amiga mia. Que Dios les consuele en este tiempo.
@ngie’s last blog post..Endurance
18 faemom // Jun 4, 2009 at 11:44 pm
I liked this post. I’m so sorry for your loss.
faemom’s last blog post..Go back to start and don’t collect $200
19 thefarmerfiles // Jun 5, 2009 at 10:04 am
Love the heart stone…and I know that the God of the universe loves us so much he might do something so simple. My favorite is “nos vemos” por que a mi tampoco me gusta decir adios.
thefarmerfiles’s last blog post..In the Same Boat: San Diego Maritime Museum
20 Grace // Jun 5, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Oh, that all may know the comfort of reconciliation and reunion offered to us in Jesus. This is a lovely post.
Grace’s last blog post..Six-day Riddle Solved
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