That title has ALMOST nothing to do with this post. For some reason, an old Shake N Bake commercial came to mind just before I hit “publish.”
(A CLASSIC commercial which I cannot find anywhere)
(Can ya help – I mean hayulp – a sista out? Link in the comments!)
Today I woke up feeling either brave or delusional. Which resulted in an outing with the kids.
As in, OUT. In public. With all three kids.
And because three’s just not enough for complete insanity, we brought along LC’s best friend. (Sage. He’s a great kid. Love, love, love him. But still. I went out. On purpose. With FOUR kids.)
I called my friend Casey at 11 am and asked if she wanted to meet for lunch. Sure!
(Casey’s days with her two kids are always structured and always include at least one outing. I used to hope to be like her when I grew up. But I recently abandoned that pipe dream. Now I just bask in her competence.)
Anyway, she was gonna be out at lunchtime already, so we arranged to eat at Steak N Shake.
(Which LC thinks has a stupid name. He also studied the menu and asked,
“Do they have ANY burgers that aren’t STEAK?”
Um, no. But it’s not really steak. They just call it that to sound fayncee.)
So. Picture this: two women, two 11 year old boys, two 9 year old girls, and a 6 year old boy and girl.
Table for eight, please. Preferably in the yelling and napkin-throwing section.
Of course when we got there the restaurant had a rush and we had to wait to be seated. 9yo Hannah and Mikayla whispered and giggled. 11yo Sage and LC gazed at the Claw Game by the door and made random requests for quarters. 6yo Matthew and Abby eavesdropped on the older girls and hollered at the older boys, respectively.
Later, here’s us at our table: Torn paper hats, fights over crayons, flirt-bickering between 9 and 11 year olds. Me shushing because my kids say everything in a shout. Casey trying to reassure me that they just sound loud because of the “tone” of their voices. (Well yeah, if by “tone” you mean “volume.”)
Two moms trying to get six kids to decide on their orders while six kids try to continue 14 random conversations about farts. Whining when the food’s not there. French fry stealing and arm wrestling over aforementioned French fries. EXTRA NAPKINS.
Four games of “see food” before I put the kibosh on that.
LC, when I can see the food on your tongue FROM BESIDE YOU, that is ENOUGH.
Not enough ketchup. Intense debate about the evils of mustard and the joy of pickles.
I’m sure you’ve seen moms like us at your local mall or restaurant or playground, attempting to have their own conversation while barely-contained chaos surged around them.
Pity us, please. We’re doing the best we can to civilize selfish, single-minded, uncivilized, rebellious ruffians.
If they’re not actually standing on your TABLE with their FEET in your FOOD, you need to just GIVE US A BREAK.
Because short of cutting out their vocal cords with a plastic milkshake spoon, we can’t do anything more than we already are to quiet them down.
Whoa. Sorry.
Sudden flashback to College Me. She had a crummy attitude toward parents of imperfect kids. I’m kinda disappointed in her for that,
Because CLEARLY MY CURRENT ADVENTURE WITH MY THREE HOOLIGANS IS SOME SORT OF PAYBACK FOR HER BEHAVIOR.
College Me, you SUCK.
Okay. Anyway. Full day.
And to make a slight change of course (CAUTION: Whiplash Ahead!), I need to tell you about the latest:
Charlie’s 89 year old dad is in the hospital. It appears to everyone, including his caregiver daughter who is also a nurse-practitioner, that he is probably not going to live much longer. So this afternoon Charlie left for the airport. This evening he’s on a plane to Tucson, AZ. Not in his plans – or mine – for this already-crazy summer.
So if it’s your thing, we’d sure appreciate some prayer. I have a LOT on my plate here at home, including a work commitment all day Thursday for which my babysitter just cancelled. And Charlie, who of course is putting off all work and church commitments, will be sitting vigil to probably say farewell to his father. The kids are having a rough time too. They just said goodbye to the Auntie who’s been here for their entire lives. And now it looks like they’ll be saying goodbye long-distance to their Grandpa.
And now that I’ve put your emotions in a blender and clicked “frappe,” I hope you have a wonderful night. Thanks for reading and anyone wanna babysit for me?
14 responses so far ↓
1 Candy // Jun 2, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Aw Steph, I’d be there in a heartbeat, you know that. Hang in there, friend. Throw the kids some skittles, a bone, crochet hook – anything. I’ll be throwing up some mad prayers for you for some (whirled) peas. Prayers for Charlie and his dad, too. Tough times.
You have that southern accent down in writing paarfectly.
Candy’s last blog post..Our Waterfront, er, back Property
2 Matt @ The Church of No People // Jun 2, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Just think, one day you can go to Steak and Shake and laugh inside at the parents trying to control their little banshees!
3 faemom // Jun 2, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Sounds like a crazy whirlwind day. Nothing like trying to contain chaos in public . . . barely. As for babysitting, well, if you come to Tucson with the kids, I could take them, because (how crazy is this) that’s where I live now.
faemom’s last blog post..A New Talent: Nothing
4 sherri // Jun 2, 2009 at 9:37 pm
I’m typing this in a neck brace from the whip lash so there may be more typos than usual.
It was all hilarious and spot on….then I read about Charlie’s dad. I am so sorry, and will pray for him, and Charlie and all of you. I hate it that you’re dealing with so much. Grace and Peace to you, my dear Steph, that PEACE that passes all understanding.
sherri’s last blog post..The post I could hardly write due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
5 Red Clay Report // Jun 2, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Hey Steph, you were either brave or temporarily insane, but you gave it the college try … although your college you would not have been able to handle it at all … we all were that person, shaking our heads at the wild urchins and shooting daggers at the parents. My personal comeuppance arrived in the form of twins.
Red Clay Report’s last blog post..Quote O’ The Day
6 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // Jun 2, 2009 at 10:43 pm
What a great community I get to be part of, when two of you offer to babysit if we were closer together, and I know you mean it. Thanks!
Oh, and Y’all? You need to visit my male counterpart here in GA. Greg moved here from California, and even named his blog for the Red Clay. (See comment above this one for link.)
7 Helen // Jun 2, 2009 at 10:57 pm
I said a prayer for your fatherinlaw, husband, kids, and you.
You were actually wise to take them out today. They are under stress too, so the outing was good for them, and it was good for you to get comfort from a corporal friend. (Actually, your cyber friends have bodies, too, but I need a way to differentiate us). Anyone there who judged you…well, too bad for them.
Helen’s last blog post..Keep Asking
8 Wendy // Jun 2, 2009 at 11:18 pm
I’m so sorry about your father in law! Saying prayers for you all.
And I tried to find that commercial for you, but no luck. Drats.
Wendy’s last blog post..Parenting 101 – Life lessons
9 Lianne // Jun 2, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Okay, crazy blender comments must follow a mind-bending post like that one…
I was “College You” also. I also sucked.
You are killin’ me with the “And I hayulped.” Seriously!
I pity you now because I am that mom, too. Why is it that farts ALWAYS are dinner convo?
Your husband and family are in my prayers.
Lianne’s last blog post..Dazed and Terrified
10 Jo@Mylestones // Jun 3, 2009 at 7:24 am
I can always count on you to take us on a wild ride, from laughter to empathy. If I was a bit closer, I’d be there Thursday with bells on, (or maybe armor?), to babysit. I’ll be thinking/praying for you guys this week….
(And you have officially dashed my hopes that when my children stop spilling drinks and know the proper use of a utensil, we will actually have peaceful meals out. Sigh.)
Jo@Mylestones’s last blog post..What I Learned This Week – Backyard Edition
11 katdish // Jun 3, 2009 at 9:00 am
Sorry to hear about Charlie’s dad.
As for you and your lunch adventure. WHAT were you thinking?
We make the kids sit at another table and pretend not to notice them. I know – I am THAT mother.
katdish’s last blog post..Tired of Fighting? (By Stacey Armond)
12 Beth // Jun 3, 2009 at 9:27 am
Poor Charlie. Frank’s dad had a lot of health problems last December and it was the first time either of us had to seriously face the fact that parents don’t live forever. Extra prayers and love for you and your fam, Steph.
And you know I’d babysit…but I’m meeting my friend for lunch on Thursday with her munchkins!! Let the napkin flying begin. Oh yeah…and there’s that whole 15 hour drive or something.
Beth’s last blog post..Ha Ha
13 Daniel Slocum // Jun 3, 2009 at 1:02 pm
When it rains it pours Steph.
We are in the same boat with Catherine’s dad. She made that trip alone to SoCal a couple of weeks ago thinking it was over while I stayed home and negotiated Home Schooling, Home School PE, full time job and church duties. I’d have no hair left after that week but I started it bald so no harm done.
Fortunately, her dad has perked up a bit and it looks like we will get to spend Father’s Day with him before he meets Jesus face-2-face.
You are in our prayers.
14 Daniel Slocum // Jun 3, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Hey.. couldn’t help myself. I posted my Steak n Shake image on my blog and linked it back to you. Hope you don’t mind.
http://danielslocum.com/blog/?p=129
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