Inadequate.
Not enough.
That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I don’t have enough…
time brainpower
self-discipline selflessness
courage confidence
I’m not organized enough. I’m not loving enough.
I’m not content enough.
Just. Not. Enough.
I’ve heard it said that if your dream feels manageable, then your dream is too small.
Then I must be quite the dreamer. Because nothing in my life lately seems manageable. I can’t even manage the LIST of everything I need to be doing.
(Seriously. I lost the list. Again.)
You know the Proverbs 31 Woman? Most evangelical women have beaten themselves about the head and neck with HER standard:
Practically Perfect in Every Way.
(i.e. Mary Poppins.
If she’d been a mom
with an emotional investment
in the kids & no days off.)
Besides sewing and gardening and running her own business and feeding and clothing her children, she apparently never sleeps. (Read it yourself: her lamp never goes out AND she rises before dawn. –vv 15 & 18)
***
Yesterday at my church, 12Stone, Pastor Kevin (PK) actually preached from Proverbs 31:10-31.
I think many of us wondered if PK had a death wish.
C’mon, no male pastor does that on Mother’s Day.
Didn’t he know he was supposed to just give all the women carnations and a round of applause, then direct his sermon at our husbands and/or kids, telling them how they need to appreciate us more?
No, he actually focused on the abilities and actions of this paragon of female perfection. Courageous or stupid?
I believe my pastor is alive today because he also pointed out the one verse that he considered the foundation of the whole passage:
Verse 30b: “but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.”
No wait. Read that again. I know it feels like a “no duh” (a phrase that I think needs to be reintroduced into the modern lexicon).
But if it’s foundational, then all of the other verses are less of a checklist than a description.
The message of the proverb becomes:
“THIS is what a woman who fears the Lord is capable of.”
In other words, the qualities of a Proverbs 31 Woman are present only when I turn to God.
PK said as much: “Maybe this motherhood thing was never meant to be attempted alone.”
Which of course is just a corollary to “This life was never meant to be attempted alone.”
Either way, I need to take it to heart.
The first task on my to-do list EVERY DAY needs to be…
ASK GOD FOR HELP & GUIDANCE.
Because I’m not enough to do any of this on my own.
I’m inadequate.
Something important to keep in mind.
More What I Learned This Week
37 responses so far ↓
1 Marni // May 11, 2009 at 9:50 am
Pastor is wise…
I struggle with not getting it all done. And when I remember to give it to God, I may still not get it all done, but I have the peace I need to quit being supermom and superwife. It’s very liberating. One would wonder why I don’t give it all over to God daily rather than when I’m at my wits end.
Again, Pastor is wise.
Marni’s last blog post..iBible
2 Wendy // May 11, 2009 at 9:57 am
Did the pitchforks and torches come out before he got to his point?
Wendy’s last blog post..Life is Funny – Children say…
3 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // May 11, 2009 at 10:06 am
Wendy, NO, but let me tell you, a lot of the men in attendance were sinking in their seats. Or maybe they were ducking.
Seriously, he did it so artfully and compassionately (a lot about the tension between those standards and our lives) that I almost didn’t notice what he’d done till after the service.
I actually preferred this over the applause and carnations. Although we got those too. The poor dads usually get pounded on Mother’s Day AND Father’s Day. This was wonderfully balanced.
4 Nina in Portugal // May 11, 2009 at 10:06 am
Amen….great message, re-preached Steph!
Feel like I was there!
Girl..me too!! Been there…done that…
I was just sorting through old kid clothes, weeding out the ones that don’t fit anymore, deciding what needs to be saved for next fall. Can another kid wear this again…will they look homeless if I keep passing this shirt down?…I got overwhelmed, made me a bowl of oatmeal and sat down at my computer only to read your post….
I guess I should say…thank you…but I don’t want to cause then I have to get up, get busy and throw away my oatmeal.
Nina in Portugal’s last blog post..City Slickers Part 2
5 Helen // May 11, 2009 at 10:13 am
Steph, you are a beautiful woman of God. He loves you, and so do we.
@ngie, do you know why South Americans hate me and never visit my blog? Do you think you could ask around for me? Thanks!
Helen’s last blog post..Random Musing Poll Update and Why Do They Hate Me In South America?
6 Joyce // May 11, 2009 at 10:16 am
I’m right there with you at the moment.
Great post…thanks for sharing.
Joyce’s last blog post..Spectacularly spectacular or Where is Mr. Roget when I need him?
7 Julie Todd // May 11, 2009 at 10:18 am
GREAT post. I have grown weary of the Proverbs 31: woman… I used to try to be like her until I realized it wasn’t a model…. THANK GOD!
Your pastor hit it beautifully. Oh and I’m right there with you… can’t keep up with life.
This is my first visit her. I enjoyed myself and plan to visit again. It’s nice to meet you. I hope you will drop by for a visit. I love meeting new people!
Have a blessed day,
Julie
Julie Todd’s last blog post..The Mother Heart of God
8 Julie Todd // May 11, 2009 at 10:19 am
Oh, and one more thing… I live in rural Georgia too, north GA.
Julie Todd’s last blog post..The Mother Heart of God
9 Rachel // May 11, 2009 at 10:41 am
This was great. I needed to read this today. Thanks!
Rachel’s last blog post..I’ll take porcelain skin, extra crispy please.
10 Screwed Up Texan // May 11, 2009 at 11:23 am
And you will never find me awake early in the morning unless I am on a roadtrip, sick, had too much caffeine…or I am getting paid to do it. Call me lazy–it doesnt hurt me one bit. Yep, I would never make it as the Proverbs 31 woman. Never.
Love this post…it was perfect!
Screwed Up Texan’s last blog post..Screwed Up Texan Opens Shop on Etsy!
11 @ngie // May 11, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Dear SSBBBFF,
Just back here from a rabbit trail over to Helen’s blog. I have now fulfilled her ‘South America Dot’ fantasy. Ha! That was fun.
Your church has a good lookin’ web site.
Sounds like the message was good. Thanks for sharing with us. It truly takes skill to tell someone they are inadequate and make them feel good about it. Cool.
@ngie’s last blog post..Super Mom
12 katdish // May 11, 2009 at 1:47 pm
What’s that proverb say again? I ripped that page out of my bible to make a shofar horn.
katdish’s last blog post..Living in Awe (by Billy Coffey)
13 Jo@Mylestones // May 11, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Great post! It really is not about what we DO, but about who we ARE. We are His kids, made perfect by His work, not ours.
I think a better model for us gals is found in the NT–when Jesus told Martha that she was worried about many things, but only one thing was needed—the thing that loafing ol’ Mary was doing–sitting with Jesus.
So that Prov 31 over-achieving lady can put THAT in her loom and weave it!!
14 Helen // May 11, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@Jo@Mylestone AMEN!
Katdish, even though you were supposed to use the table of contents, I can still get behind that.
Angie, thanks. I actually do check out some Chilean blogs. Maybe I need to move over…
Helen’s last blog post..Random Musing Poll Update and Why Do They Hate Me In South America?
15 Evenshine // May 11, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Really nicely done, Steph. Thanks for the encouragement…good to know we’re not alone in this struggle.
Evenshine’s last blog post..Your Friday Existential Statement
16 Amy Warden // May 11, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Have you ever read “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredge? I’m halfway through, but this is exactly what the book is about. I mean – exactly. It’s fantastic so far!!
Amy Warden’s last blog post..Mother’s Day For the Birds
17 Stonefox // May 12, 2009 at 7:05 am
Great post, Steph, and something powerful to live by.
Stonefox’s last blog post..Woven
18 sherri // May 12, 2009 at 7:31 am
Great stuff! Hug your pastor for me.
sherri’s last blog post..A cloud and a silver lining
19 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // May 12, 2009 at 7:47 am
Thanks for all the comments. It sure is nice to know I’m not alone in my sentiments.
Although Katdish, I now feel led to pray for you and your defaced Bible. Even if the torn pages were used for a holy shofar horn.
Julie – So glad to have you here. Just beware – this was not a typical post, at least not lately. If this post was a healthy meal, then what I usually write is junk food. My blog = The Laffy Taffy of the interwebs.
Jo -Hee! “So that Prov 31 over-achieving lady can put THAT in her loom and weave it!!” I wish I’d come up with that line.
Amy – Sounds like I need to pick up that book. I’ve heard of it but never read.
Stonefox (Heidi) – HEY! Good to see you here! Everyone, if you liked this post, go visit Heidi’s blog. She does this kind of thing WAY better than I do.
20 Jenn Calling Home // May 12, 2009 at 9:27 am
Great post! I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment as well, so thanks for the reminder.
21 Musings of a Housewife // May 12, 2009 at 9:27 am
Steph, this is SO true. Thank you for a wonderful reminder today! I’m stumbling this.
Musings of a Housewife’s last blog post..What I Learned This Week Vol. 15
22 Jaime (ChaseNKids) // May 12, 2009 at 9:53 am
I needed to read this today. What a blessing! This was a wonderful post!
23 Emily B // May 12, 2009 at 10:20 am
Amen! What else can I say?
24 rachel@justanotherdayinparadise // May 12, 2009 at 12:32 pm
ooh, good point!
rachel@justanotherdayinparadise’s last blog post..going the wrong way
25 the domestic fringe // May 12, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Good message!
Thanks for sharing it with us.
-FringeGirl
26 Heather of the EO // May 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm
The sermon I heard on Sunday was about this too. Another brave man
I forget so often, and it seems so simple…I need to ask. I need to turn over in the morning and cry for help first thing. He helps. I just keep thinking “I’m a mom, so I do this alone.” My husband travels for work a lot and I did a post once that described a moment with God as I woke up about to attempt another “single parenting” day. I said “God, I don’t know if I can do this alone anymore.” And then I smacked myself on the forehead when it sunk in. Oh yeah, I’m never alone. So I got up and made pancakes and coined them Mercy Cakes.
Wow, long comment…
Heather of the EO’s last blog post..IRL
27 JanMary, N Ireland // May 12, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Super post – and giving hope to us Mums everywhere!
It wasn’t Mothers Day here in Ireland yesterday, we had ours in March.
JanMary, N Ireland’s last blog post..Lessons Learned – glasses, supermarkets and church family
28 Christy Klein // May 12, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I SO ABSOLUTELY NEEDED THIS TODAY, STEPH!
I’ve been feeling so buried in responsibility and overwhelmed with my inadequacies. I have read Proverbs 31 so many times with the same questions you mentioned swimming in my head. How does she do it? When does she find time? Does this woman actually sleep? And why can’t I be like that?
It must come from the Lord… {smacking my forehead now}
Thank you for turning the light on in my head.
Christy Klein’s last blog post..Announcing My New Monthly Blog Carnival…
29 Alison // May 12, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Excellent point! I need to remember this when I start beating myself up for not being able to do it all.
Alison’s last blog post..What I Learned This Week #11
30 Grace // May 12, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Oooh, he was a brave pastor, to preach from that text on Mother’s Day! Did he also mention that Prov. 31 probably covers all seasons of a woman’s life? And that we only live in one season at a time?
Regardless…I’m with you…without Him, I can do nothing!
Grace’s last blog post..Timely Name Dropping
31 faemom // May 13, 2009 at 12:08 am
ooo, He was on a slippery slope there. Interesting take on the proverb. I’ve actually read blogger moms say how they need to follow the list like it’s the law. And that freaks me out. Great blog. Great post. Never start the day without a little prayer to get through the day. That and Lord, don’t give me strength because I swear I will beat my family into submission
faemom’s last blog post..And this is suppose to be my day?
32 nicole // May 13, 2009 at 9:51 am
Great thoughts! Thanks for sharing.
nicole’s last blog post..Hello, I Have No Point
33 Naked Reptiles and Mercenary Rodents | The Red Clay Diaries // May 13, 2009 at 6:18 pm
[...] RSS ← When does the Proverbs 31 Woman sleep? [...]
34 Julie Todd // May 14, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Hey Steph… Thanks for clearing things up about your blog post buffet. I’m still coming back, cause to tell you the truth, there’s just not enough laughter in this world!
Julie
Julie Todd’s last blog post..Leading the Blind
35 Jenny // May 14, 2009 at 11:52 pm
LMAO i cant stop laughing.
Jenny’s last blog post..By the Lake
36 thefarmerfiles // May 22, 2009 at 11:06 am
Please tell me he realized she did not do that all by herself in one day. LOL.
thefarmerfiles’s last blog post..Coronado Bridge Race
37 When does the Proverbs 31 woman SLEEP? -REPOST | The Red Clay Diaries // Jun 7, 2010 at 11:38 am
[...] (Original post May 11, 2009) [...]
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