It’s for those people who have to wait in them for their loved one’s plane for extended periods of time.
In the case of me and the kids: four hours. Yes. FOUR HOURS.
FOUR. HOURS.
There are some differences, of course:
Mall – Those guys with kiosks in the middle of the walkway do everything but tackle you to make a sales pitch.
Airport – Guys in orange vests stand in one spot for eight hours and point thousands of clueless travelers toward the security checkpoint. For some reason, they seem a lot less excited to see you.
Mall – In the food court, there will be at least two Asian fast food places, where they will cheerfully flag you down to hand out samples of General Tso’s chicken. I’ve made an entire meal of those free samples.
Airport – The food court is staffed with kids who have apparently been released from Juvey on the condition that they work the cash register at Wendy’s. They don’t like their job. They don’t like the people they work with. And if you don’t order decisively and fast, they clearly want to cut you. (Oh, and a meal for four costs over $20.)
(Have you ever tried to order quickly and decisively with three kids? Not only did my kids change their minds three times each, but they then talked over the surly cashier with the play-by-play on their straw-opening progress. And asking if the straws were free. And wondering aloud at what toy would be in the kids’ meal.)
Mall – You walk in, do what you came there to do, and leave when you want.
Airport – After circling the lot for 20 minutes in search of a space, you walk in with no other goal than to wait. You don’t know what you’ll do while you wait, or when you’ll get to leave. (Maybe it’s jail-like to help the Juvey kids feel at home.)
Mall – They have stuff you want to buy.
Airport – They have stuff that you try to keep your kids from wanting to buy.
***
I cleverly brought along my video camera, so after we ate, I videotaped us. IF I can figure out how to edit it, I’ll post soon.
(It’s kind of a “Lord of the Flies” meets “The Blair Witch Project” – but with Cinnabon.
The evening ended with the arrival of my beloved, so all is well.
I’ll post more soon!
13 responses so far ↓
1 Helen // May 7, 2009 at 1:20 pm
“It’s kind of a ‘Lord of the Flies’ meets ‘The Blair Witch Project’ – but with Cinnabon.”
You sure do know how to paint a picture with words! I can so picture that in my head. Now make it stop….
Helen’s last blog post..Like They Weren’t Thinking It Themselves…..
2 Beth // May 7, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Yup, that’s the phrase that got me, too.
Mmmmmm…Cinnabon….almost worth dragging my kids to the mall. Almost.
Beth’s last blog post..The Post That’s Been Hard to Write
3 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // May 7, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Helen, my goal is to help EVERYONE have as much fun as I did last night. If I have to keep reliving it in my memory, so do you!
Beth, see, I’m with you on dragging kids to a mall. I HATE and avoid that as much as possible. Imagine my joy, then, to spend all that time at a place even less appealing than a mall. Whee!
4 faemom // May 7, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Four hours! I’m amzed you’re still sane!
5 Wendy // May 7, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Wait… Now let me get this straight – your airport has a Cinnabon? I could totally kill 4 hours at a Cinnabon…
Wendy’s last blog post..I scream, you scream…
6 Jo@Mylestones // May 7, 2009 at 6:59 pm
“It’s kind of a ‘Lord of the Flies’ meets ‘The Blair Witch Project’ – but with Cinnabon.” Ha! Made me laugh. And I don’t feel the need to add “out loud”, because really, isn’t “out loud” part of the definition of “laugh”? I mean, I guess there’s the kind of shoulder shaking that goes on when you’re trying to stifle the giggles in church, but that’s trying NOT to laugh, not laughing. Am I right??
Sorry. Back to your post. Did I mention it made me laugh?
7 the domestic fringe // May 7, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Cinnabon makes a lot of bad situations good.
Can’t wait to see this mini movie.
-FringeGirl
8 Joyce // May 8, 2009 at 2:52 am
Even Cinnabon cannot make four hours waiting in an airport feel like anything other than what it is. Ugh.
Glad your hubs is home safe and sound.
Joyce’s last blog post..viva le France
9 katdish // May 8, 2009 at 4:43 am
I’m glad Charlie is FINALLY home. And may I just say I can’t even imagine how suck it would be to in the airport for 4 hours with my kids, and you’ve got one more than I do. God bless ya!
And I am SO GLAD that my mall is not unique in the “kung pao chicken by intimidation” free sample technique. I’ve thought about going up there and filming that. Very weird.
katdish’s last blog post..Twitter Update: What you’re still missing
10 sherri // May 8, 2009 at 7:34 am
Can’t wait to see the video!
Enjoyed your little comparison “tour” through the airport/mall.
And Steph, did you know I have a great personality? Just ask Big AL. And I have a challenge for you…
sherri’s last blog post..Pocket Lint Revisited
11 Evenshine // May 8, 2009 at 9:26 am
Ordering with kids? This is how it goes:
“Three kids meals and a number 5.”
(While kids sit at nearby table out of earshot).
This is a dictatorship, after all. Momma’s rule is law.
Evenshine’s last blog post..To the Guy Who’s Late…
12 Peter P // May 8, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Apparently you go to different airports than me… All the airports I ever go to have food courts staffed with people who don’t speak the same language as anyone else who ever uses the airport and look like they have just arrived on a boat from some third-world country that no-one has ever heard of.
Peter P’s last blog post..The Church done good!
13 @ngie // May 9, 2009 at 8:44 am
Yay! Your man is back! I bet everyone is very glad that he is home again. Enjoy him!
@ngie’s last blog post..Super Mom
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