Actual conversation between me and Abby, Age 6:
Momma, when I was at school, I pooped, and my poopies had little hard white things that HURRRRRRT.
Have you been eating your Nerds candies without chewing them?
(pause) Yesssssss.
(sound of hysterical laughter of everyone in house)
Well, that would be it.
But my poopies hurt TODAY. At SCHOOL.
Sweetie, it takes awhile for food to go through you. Nerds from last night might come out today.
Oh no! I just ate a bunch more today without chewing! That means it’s gonna happen again!
Why exactly did you eat Nerds without chewing them?
I don’t know.
Sigh.
I just hope when it happens again tomorrow, they don’t send her home with a diagnosis of worms.
UPDATE: So many commenters have asked HOW I knew it was Nerds that I feel compelled to answer: I don’t know. It’s just the first thing that came to my mind.
Maybe I have excremental telepathy.
*SNORT*
23 responses so far ↓
1 Jo@Mylestones // Apr 14, 2009 at 8:32 pm
I don’t know what’s funnier–the poop story in and of itself–or the fact that you came up with the cause in ONE TRY. Seriously, how did you know to even ask about eating nerds without chewing them? It’s just so random and so stinkin’ hilarious!
2 Annie K // Apr 14, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Ahhhh….out of the…er…um…mouths of babes.
Annie K’s last blog post..I’ll Have The Burrito With Salsa But Hold The Meth
3 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // Apr 14, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Jo- STINKIN hilarious… *snort*
Exactly. As for my amazing detective work, well, what can I say? It’s a gift.
4 Wendy // Apr 14, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Are you some kind of poop genious or something?
Wendy’s last blog post..a formal complaint
5 Wendy // Apr 14, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Okay genius, learn to spell… I think I’ve been possessed by Sherri…
6 Beth // Apr 14, 2009 at 9:24 pm
My favorite poop comment so far from my kids…
“Mommy? I had a lot of poop for a little girl.”
Beth’s last blog post..Being the Spleen
7 sherri // Apr 14, 2009 at 10:34 pm
You are a genious!
I have a mole I’d like you to look at…
sherri’s last blog post..What Say You? Wednesday
8 Candy // Apr 14, 2009 at 10:46 pm
So you appear to have a plethora of experience in Nerd swallowing….
My favorite poop story from son when he was 2: “Look Mom, my poop looks like a great big ‘S’!!”
“Yes dear, that’s a mighty squiggly job you’ve done there…”
Candy’s last blog post..The Rally
9 Helen // Apr 15, 2009 at 1:00 am
If I ever have any poop trouble, I know I can always count on you, Steph!
Helen’s last blog post..Alleluia!
10 Steph at the Red Clay Diaries // Apr 15, 2009 at 7:24 am
I’m not a genius. But I might possibly have excremental telepathy.
(I crack myself up.)
11 katdish // Apr 15, 2009 at 8:20 am
excremental telepathy – snort!
katdish’s last blog post..Say it ain’t so Kro! Say it ain’t so!
12 ginabad // Apr 15, 2009 at 8:32 am
Now THAT’S funny! Um, I think i’d rather NOT have excremental telepathy!!
ginabad’s last blog post..5 Ways to Drive Mom Blog or Dad Blog Traffic
13 Evenshine // Apr 15, 2009 at 9:30 am
Just when I thought it would be a normal, boring day…I go visit Steph and get another- yes, another- poop story.
And how large are these Nerds? You’d have to eat quite a few before- never mind. I’m not even going to go there.
Evenshine’s last blog post..Should I stay or should I go?
14 rachel@justanotherdayinparadise // Apr 15, 2009 at 9:49 am
sometimes, as a mom, you JUST KNOW. You might not always know what they’re going to do before they do it, but you just know what happened after the fact. must be our mommy 6th sense or something.
rachel@justanotherdayinparadise’s last blog post..another observation from the hamster wheel
15 Lianne // Apr 15, 2009 at 10:40 am
This reminds me of when my cousin only ate Spaghettios for a week, for every meal. (!)
Her mom took her to the doctor because she thought she was, um, passing blood. Nope. Spaghettio sauce.
*GAG*
Lianne’s last blog post..On The Road Again…
16 the domestic fringe // Apr 15, 2009 at 2:28 pm
lol
good diagnosis.
-FringeGirl
the domestic fringe’s last blog post..A Spa Day, Sorta
17 Rachel@Grasping... // Apr 15, 2009 at 2:57 pm
That is priceless. I had no idea that Nerds did that. Not that I’m going to try it or anything.
Rachel@Grasping…’s last blog post..You Know You’re a Mommy When. . . .
18 Jenn Calling Home // Apr 15, 2009 at 8:38 pm
That’s what you’d call a “nerd turd.”
Sorry, couldn’t resist. I’ll be sure and chew my nerds, if and when I have one…which isn’t likely anyway.
Jenn Calling Home’s last blog post..It’s Party Time
19 faemom // Apr 16, 2009 at 12:11 am
Awesome! You’re the Sherlock Holmes of poop!
faemom’s last blog post..Nothing Wrong with a Little Friendly Competition
20 Angela (I am Pooped) // Apr 17, 2009 at 1:10 pm
That was poopishly funny!! ;]
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