Actual conversation between me and Abby, Age 6:
Momma, when I was at school, I pooped, and my poopies had little hard white things that HURRRRRRT.
Have you been eating your Nerds candies without chewing them?
(sound of hysterical laughter of everyone in house)
Well, that would be it.
But my poopies hurt TODAY. At SCHOOL.
Sweetie, it takes awhile for food to go through you. Nerds from last night might come out today.
Oh no! I just ate a bunch more today without chewing! That means it’s gonna happen again!
Why exactly did you eat Nerds without chewing them?
I don’t know.
I just hope when it happens again tomorrow, they don’t send her home with a diagnosis of worms.
UPDATE: So many commenters have asked HOW I knew it was Nerds that I feel compelled to answer: I don’t know. It’s just the first thing that came to my mind.
Maybe I have excremental telepathy.