Today when I arrived at the kids’ school, my clock read 7:59.
Ack! I think that’s the closest we’ve come to arriving late this whole year.
Of course, only if you define “on time” as “while the carpool line still has cars in it.”
The line at the drop-off area was getting perilously short when I whipped down the driveway and raced around the bend. I may have broken the surface-street speed limit.
But I caught up! We screeched to a halt in the last position in a still-present line of cars!
Yes! To the curb, kids!
***
Hubby’s first question when I got home:
“What was up with the kids today?”
At first I didn’t know what he was talking about.
“Ohhh. You mean the screaming and crying? Is normal.” (Not a grammar error. Private joke.)
Now that I think about it, I guess there WAS a little more screaming than usual. What WERE they upset about in the 45 minutes we all spent with eyes open and feet on the floor this morning? (Except LC. He was feet-down only about 15 minutes.)
Hmmm… Let me see.
LC got mad about:
Hannah mocking him.
Hannah screaming at him.
Abby asking him a question.
Me not buying milk last night after I discovered the brand-new gallon had curdled. (AFTER I’d poured it into my after-dinner decaf coffee, thankyouverymuch. Ew. Milk floaties.)
Me not reading his mind about breakfast, and then suggesting oatmeal after he’d already chosen it and it’s right in my hand didn’t you see??!!!.
Hannah got mad about:
Abby asking to play Barbies with her in the ten minutes they had before I made them get ready.
Abby not taking ‘no’ for an answer, EVEN THOUGH HANNAH HAD RESPONDED APPROPRIATELY. Didn’t she know that Hannah’s right actions were supposed to have some Pavlovian effect on Abby’s behavior?
(Earth to Hannah: People are not dogs. I pray you learn this before age 38. Unlike me.)
SOMEBODY STEALING the story she and her friend had been working on, since she couldn’t find it where she thought she’d left it. [NOTE: Found by her Daddy. Who had moved it.]
Me not searching for her reading book for her overnight after she couldn’t find it at bedtime. [NOTE: Found today by me. In her bookbag.]
Me not reading her mind and putting the Eggo waffle that she was clearly in the mood for in the toaster for her.
Charlie mocking her.
Charlie bossing her.
Charlie snapping at her for screaming at him. (“Only I wasn’t SCREAMING!”)
Abby bumping her while stretching.
Abby stepping on the seat in the car while climbing over Hannah into her spot.
Me pointing out that she’s not being very forgiving.
***
And Abby right now just wants everybody to be happy. The worst thing she whines about is when the other two hurt her feelings. So Hannah, at 9 probably experiencing the first rush of pubescent hormones, is a challenge.
This is me saying the one thing that finally made her stop picking fights with everyone on the ride to school:
“Hannah, if I have to find a way to make your afternoon miserable, so you can pay for making this drive to school miserable, I will do that.”
***
I’m gonna say something that I couldn’t have predicted in a million years:
Abby is my easiest child right now.
That’s the good news. The bad news? When the tween hormones course through HER highly-emotional-yet-barely-rational system, LOOKOUT.
I better start preparing now, because I know that when puberty hits Abby, it will be On Like Donkey Kong.*
*I’ve always wanted to say that.
**I don’t know why. Maybe cuz Payton Manning is so funny when he says it in that Oreo commercial.
15 responses so far ↓
1 elizabeth channel // Mar 31, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Wow, I feel so much better. I realize now how close to “normal” my children are. I thought all this bickering and breaking down over someone mocking someone or stepping on their car seat was a level of dysfunction found only in my progeny.
You have officially made my day!
2 Nick the Geek // Mar 31, 2009 at 1:31 pm
See I don’t know if I have it better or worse. We have 4 to deal with but they are younger. On the other hand my oldest daughter loves going everywhere with me. Now at face value that seems like a good thing, but the truth is she just wants to hang with the Youth. She especially loves the girls and has developed a tween attitude at 5. I really need to write about last week after service. She made good friends with one of the more hyper/ditsy girls.
Yeah I’m a bit afraid of the tween/teen years.
Nick the Geek’s last blog post..Geek facts
3 Beth // Mar 31, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Um, so you’re saying parenting gets harder?
Crap.
Beth’s last blog post..Grocery Getter Part Deux
4 Helen // Mar 31, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Hi. I don’t have anything to contribute to the converation. I am just letting you know I am here.
Helen’s last blog post..Freud Sings Songs for Jung Lovers
5 Screwed Up Texan // Mar 31, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Yeah! I am not the only one! Just kidding….well, you know what I mean. Personally, I dont know what was up with me this morning. I was so tired…and my oldest shaking my youngest awake because he wanted to play with him didnt help.
Screwed Up Texan’s last blog post..Positive Changes
6 Matt @ The Church of No People // Mar 31, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Your morning sounds awesome! I get an idea now of what my wife has to look forward to some day
Matt @ The Church of No People’s last blog post..The Prayer Minister and Music Minister Fake Out
7 katdish // Mar 31, 2009 at 7:52 pm
So…does all this typically happen in the morning when you’re trying to get everyone out the door? My son gets up and gets dressed on time, but my daughter NEVER wants to get up and is a total grouch. Sometimes I let her sleep a few extra minutes, which is stupid because then she’s grumpy, my son is in panic mode because he’s going to miss the bus, and I’m a giant stress ball. It helps that my dh is calling out to me, “Do you know what time it is?”
Just to tell you, we were also out of milk today…but you probably already knew that.
katdish’s last blog post..I DO NOT heart grocery shopping
8 Annie K // Mar 31, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Beth, yes it does get worse. Glad I could help.
Just wait until the girls hit 14…15…16… If you have not masteredt he ability to ‘walk away’, I suggest you do so now.
And that whole miserable thing…I enforce that everyday. Cause that’s the kind of loving mother I am.
Annie K’s last blog post..A Horse, A Cat and A Bad Perm
9 sherri // Mar 31, 2009 at 9:13 pm
My scripture of comfort for you…
“And this too shall pas.”
sherri’s last blog post..Excuse me, ‘MISTER’!
10 sherri // Mar 31, 2009 at 9:15 pm
s
(the other s that I didn’t press down hard enough on the keyboard to add to the scripture.)
Is leaving it out a form of herecy?
sherri’s last blog post..Excuse me, ‘MISTER’!
11 Billy Coffey // Mar 31, 2009 at 10:06 pm
My daughter is seven. She knows everything, cannot sit still, thinks that Oreos taste best after they’ve been crushed up on the couch, and still doesn’t know how to brush her teeth right.
My son is five. He still cannot sleep through the night because of the monster under his bed, still must have his blanket with him at all times, refuses to eat nothing but macaroni and chicken nuggets, and thinks taking a bath is a sin.
These things used to stress me out. Now that I’ve read your post and see all I have to look forward to, I will now accept them with joy.
12 Lianne // Mar 31, 2009 at 11:05 pm
I would have sworn this was a transcript of breakfast at my house this morning. Did you bug my house?
13 Dawn // Apr 1, 2009 at 10:47 am
Okay, now I’m feeling so much better because I whipped my 12 year old Hannah in the car loop line today (less than a mile from my house) after the announcements. Important to note is that its, drumroll please, CRCT week so I’m officially a horrible mother because not only is she late but I did not FEED her, as they stress is so very important. Another reason why I’m a horrible mother is because she hates her hair. And I did not notice that she is down to only one hair band and it is not working right. And by the way, I don’t understand. See, you’re not alone and have so much to look forward to!
14 faemom // Apr 2, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Ah, isn’t motherhood grand? And I think we should all adopt: It’s on like donkey-king.
15 @ngie // Apr 5, 2009 at 6:35 am
Thee beautiful thing about Spring Break season is that you can start counting down the weeks until school is out because it is most likely to be in the single digits or very close to it.
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