Nashville, TN. 7:30 pm
Stephanie Wetzel here, reporting from the magnificent Hotel Preston on this lovely mild Tennessee night.
Hit me with your best shot, duDUM duDUM duDUM! Why don’t you hit me with your best shot…
Oh. Sorry. That was just the song playing when I left the Cocktail Party and Karaoke Fest rockin the hotel lounge.
Yes, left. Why?
Because I am apparently 96 years old and my rheumatism was actin up.
(Me and Gladys should hang out.)
But sitting in this peaceful, quiet hotel room, capitalizing on all the internet bandwidth available when a few hundred mommybloggers are NOT all trying to use it, I am content.
***
It’s not like I’m gonna do karaoke anyway.
At the party the dj was walking around, sticking the mic in unsuspecting faces. AND playing 80s music, which means I totally knew all the words.
I had to pinch my lips shut to keep from singing along at our table, just so he wouldn’t come over and get all up in my grill.
(I am so street, yo.)
Why don’t I karaoke, you ask? I can think of a few reasons:
1.
Well, the obvious one: clearly I’m a little old lady. And little old ladies do not shake their groove thang on a stage in a bar while trying to keep up with John Cougar Mellencamp* lyrics.
Unless perhaps they are like Gladys and “love Jesus but drink a little.”
(*BTW, he’ll always be John Cougar to me. Little ditty, bout Jack n Diaaaaane…)
2.
Which leads me to number two: I don’t drink. I never have. And the drunkest I’ve ever been was when I had a sip of cognac and got really giggly.
And ya gotta admit, karaoke and drunk do seem to get along really well. Karaoke and tipsy are fun to watch.
Based on what I’ve seen, a little tipsiness loosens a lot of people up. So you might think that one of those cute little pink “blisstinis” would give me the courage to get on top of that stage and rock some Morris Day and the Time (Oh-we-oh-we-oh!).
(Did I just reference “Jungle Love”? Yes. Yes I did.)
But I say that two sips of a drink made from vodka, triple sec and cranberry juice would send me under the table snoring. Probably after vomiting.
And if I’m gonna end the evening snoring anyway, I’d rather do it in my jammies in my room. And skip the blisstini headache in the morning.
3.
Two words: Camera. Phones.
It used to be that what happened in a karaoke bar stayed in the karaoke bar. Or at least none of the witnesses had a very clear memory of it.
Now one ill-advised attempt to sing and dance can be recorded in HD and go viral on twitter before the evening is over.
Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t need people in Malaysia laughing at my sad “sprinkler” moves.
15 responses so far ↓
1 Beth // Feb 7, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Ha! Reminds me of a Girl Scout staff conference I went to a few years back…they made up drinks and named them after Girl Scout cookies. That seemed kind of wrong to me. Did I drink? I think one tiny baby rum and coke. Did I impress everyone with my mad karaoke skillz? Of course. Did I laugh at the women who thought they were in touch with the “now” generation when they sang Baby Got Back? Yes. Did I get any sleep that night? No. I had to share a room with the people I worked with. They snored. I’m glad you get a quiet room to yourself!!
Beth’s last blog post..My Love, My Hope, My Mission
2 BeckeyZ // Feb 7, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Oh my goodness. If you are an old lady for knowing the words to all the 80′s songs, then I must be an old lady too. Tell you what, when the kids are all growed up, we can move to Walton’s mountain and make moonshine just like the Baldwin sisters. We’ll get a nice karaoke machine, have a little of papas recipe and sing 80′s hits until the cows come home.
ROFLOL! You made my day (err, night) whatever.
BeckeyZ’s last blog post..rodeo ferris wheel
3 Steffj89 // Feb 7, 2009 at 11:08 pm
i would have been biting my lips to not sing along too…but more cause i just cant sing than cause i dont enjoy a drink now and again…
glad your having fun!!
steff
Steffj89’s last blog post..This Just In….News and Views
4 All Rileyed Up // Feb 7, 2009 at 11:37 pm
See, I think a sober and silly karaoke performance would be worth watching. Come on, take one for the team. Old Time Rock and Roll!
5 katdish // Feb 8, 2009 at 12:00 am
Dang it, Steph! You probably missed a couple of good cat fights!
Did I tell you about the time I sang “Stairway to Heaven” at my friend’s wedding reception? Karaoke at a wedding, you say? No, not really. Just wanted to share.
katdish’s last blog post..Isn’t it Ironic? (not particularly)
6 Helen // Feb 8, 2009 at 12:51 am
I say the people in Malaysia should have to wait to get their kicks until we do the Supermarket Salsa.
Helen’s last blog post..A Typical CCD Saturday
7 sherri // Feb 8, 2009 at 6:55 am
Sounds like a blissful evening full of fun.
I wonder how they’re all feeling today?
Hurry home- drive safely.
Hope you get to go to CROSSPOINT today.
If you do, P. Wilson himself will hang around afterward and you can talk to him! Tell him we all said “YO ,Bro, sup?”!
sherri’s last blog post..Tell me…Who do you REALLY Love?
8 Cassie // Feb 8, 2009 at 11:48 am
You had me giggling this whole post. Mostly because I am kareoke queen (far from impresive) worst singing you have ever heard. I have no shame
Cassie’s last blog post..
9 Charlie // Feb 8, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Every Christmas my dad used to mix up a batch of what my sister started calling “The Recipe.” It was go-oo-oo-oo-ood. I don’t drink these days, but maybe after I retire, I’ll bring back the tradition.
10 Mel // Feb 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Sounds like it is so much fun!!!!
Mel’s last blog post..My First Vlog & 45/365–Let’s try this one more time.
11 Amy Warden // Feb 8, 2009 at 5:44 pm
You’re a hoot, Steph! Thanks for a good laugh. You are so right about the camera phones….there’s a video out there of some guys from our former youth group wearing pink wigs and doing a commercial ditty. They had NO idea it was being recorded!! LOL!
Amy Warden’s last blog post..Chocolate Strawberry Soap
12 the domestic fringe // Feb 8, 2009 at 8:19 pm
You should have taken pictures!
-FringeGirl
the domestic fringe’s last blog post..Sliding By This Winter
13 Heather Lessiter // Feb 8, 2009 at 10:14 pm
A- Totally jealous that you are at Blisdom! Lucky!!
B- Sadly, despite the camera phones and without the drinks, I would still be rockin’ the mic at karaoke.
C- John Cougar he always will be.
D- LOVE ME SOME GLADYS!!! She’s so funny!
Have a safe trip home.
Heather Lessiter’s last blog post..Sunday Reflection
14 Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae // Feb 9, 2009 at 10:39 pm
You know, I’ve never actually done karaoke. Perhaps I should drink more…
Lovely to meet you in person. Sorry it was just a “meet ‘n greet.” Maybe next time we’ll get to chat more!
Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae’s last blog post..Nature to Nurture
15 Allison Worthington {@fussypants} // Feb 9, 2009 at 11:24 pm
{blush} I had 2 blisstinis and had to take my heels off. Really, I shouldn’t be allowed to be an adult!
He was all up in your grill!
Bwahahahahahahahahaaha!
You *are* so street!
And you are absolutely wonderful. Thank you for coming to the conference. I am suffering from PBD- Post Blissdom Depression. But reading about all the great memories helps!
See ya next year!
xoxo, alli
Allison Worthington {@fussypants}’s last blog post..My Weekend?
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