Yesterday I celebrated two full weeks of abstaining from sweets in the only way I knew how:
I served myself a package of dark chocolate M&Ms after dinner.
And let me tell you: They were GOO-OOO-OOD.
It was a risk, since I didn’t know if a taste of something desserty would trigger a chocolate binge. But I decided to chance it and pay attention to my mind and body’s response.
Sounds scientific that way, right?
Anyhoo, it seemed to work okay. I enjoyed the M&Ms. They were Christmas colors and reminded me of the Christmas tree that I STILL need to take down…
(I have just confessed the depth of my procrastination. I’ve bared my soul to you, Dear Reader. Please be gentle.)
Then something happened that was TOTALLY unfamiliar and unexpected. I got tired of eating M&Ms. I got full. FULL.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLL!
I haven’t felt full when eating sweets … well, um, EVER. At special events, other people would push away their plateful of pie or cake or whatever and say, “Oh, it’s just too rich to finish.” I always scoffed at their obvious weak nature. And licked all the frosting off my plate till it glowed.
But last night, y’all, I had M&M leftovers! And what did I do with them?
I put them back in the pantry.
Have I impressed upon you the amazingness of this situation? Not only did I not use M&Ms as a ticket to an all-access pantry raid… I didn’t even want all of the M&Ms!
Can I get a witness?
“Self,” I said to myself, “Looks like trying an occasional single serving of dessert might actually work for you. Way to go!”
Then my left hand fist-bumped my right hand. It was awesome.
***
Now, I CAN occasionally be logical and realistic, so when I got up this morning, I wondered if last night was a fluke. Maybe I would spend today craving the other chocolate and candy in the house.
Charlie might find me midday, belly-up to a trough filled with M&Ms, Ghirardelli chocolate-peanut butter squares, chocolate chips, sugar sprinkles, marshmallow fluff, and vanilla-flavored coffee syrup.
(I’m sure there’s more sugary stuff in there that I HAVEN’T listed but WOULD find.)
But somehow, I don’t think so. Here’s why:
At 6:45 a.m. I was sitting in the living room, listening to the coffee brew and pondering my amazing accomplishment of the night before, when I was summoned.
Dangit.
I was the only one up, and this was my time to myself. But the call was urgent. So I reluctantly, and then hurriedly, got up and left the room.
And ran to the powder room.
Let’s just say that this was a task that I could not avoid or even postpone.
I was already glad that I had no appointments and could stay home on this cold and windy day.
Now I was truly grateful to be within walking distance of a room that I’ve already visited multiple times this morning.
***
A possibility is emerging. A possibility that I do not want to face or even mention. But I shall.
Because I’m all about honesty and transparency.
You’ve probably already guessed it, but I’m gonna put it in writing:
I think – maybe, just possibly – chocolate doesn’t agree with me.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Now excuse me. I need to go visit the throne room. And wrack my brain to find some OTHER reason for my “situation” today.
26 responses so far ↓
1 Helen // Jan 15, 2009 at 3:37 pm
The flu! The weather! The rings of saturn are at its lowest, the planet itself hidden from the sun (okay,I know this because my local PBS station does an astronomy (NOT astrology)blurb every night between shows,)! American Idol's season premiere this week! Reading too much Crazy Love in one sitting! One too many snuggie commercials! You are worried about what cartoon Katdish is going to pick for you! Your computer got Sherri's computer's virus and it passed it on to you! You need new kitchen curtains! ANYTHING BUT THE CHOCOLATE! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCLATE! DON'T LEAVE ME! I WILL CHANGE! (scream it with me now…)
2 Helen // Jan 15, 2009 at 3:39 pm
btw How cold is it? Here in Chicago, it is nine below zero. We are expectng it to drop two more points.
3 @ngie // Jan 15, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Oh my, I hope you are back to your regular self very soon.
Do you know the BRAT diet? Bananas, Rice, Applesauce (unsweetened) and Toast. Slows me up real good and natural like when I am fighting the big D.
I'll have to try those dark chocolate ones when I get a chance, they sound yummy. The only part of my body that doesn't agree with chocolate is my face. Too much and I look like I am back in high school.
4 Lynn Mosher // Jan 15, 2009 at 3:52 pm
It happens! Chocolate can do that to you. It does it to hubby sometimes. Hubby and have very little sugar in our diets (that means lifestyle) and rarely have desserts. After you get used to that, you'll find out how much sugar companies put in their products and your system cannot stand it. Everything is too sweet! They use w-a-y too much sugar. However…to satisfy any sweet craving, we keep small pieces of candy. This way only one piece satisfies. Well…sometimes two! If it's chocolate! LOL! A whole package of M&Ms would be too tempting but I couldn't eat the whole things anyway. Be encouraged to keep at it! Enjoyed this! Blessings to you…Lynn
5 Steph // Jan 15, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Helen -SCREAMING ALONG WITH YOU! ANYTHING BUT THE CHOCOLATE!
@ngelina b@llerina -Who knows? Maybe my face'll clear up too. But is a clear face really worth giving up chocolate FOREVER?
Lynn -You're really very encouraging, but I don't want to hear you! LALALALALALALA, I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING AT ALL! CHOCOLATE CANNOT BE EVIL! IT IS PURE GOODNESS AND LIGHT!
6 Annie K // Jan 15, 2009 at 5:00 pm
"Can I get a witness?" I'll say AMEN to that! And while I can't relate where sweets are concerned because I could care less about chocolate (I just hear ALL of those *gasps*) my weakness is carbs. Tomorrow, I will be posting about my new adventure that I will be embarking on and it has to do with carbs. (or lack there of and I'm sure that will be the death of me, but I may be pleasantly surprised.)
Hmmmm…chocolate as a laxitive? That's a tough way to lose weight….
7 Heather Lessiter // Jan 15, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Please tell me that isn't possible! Chocolate not agreeing with someone?!! What is the world coming to? The thought alone makes me ill. My guess is that you were abducted by aliens in your sleep and they flew you to Mexico and made you drink the water. The chocolate (which is natures cure-all) actually lessened the effects of your Montazuma's revenge. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
I think I'm having a panic attack!
8 sherri // Jan 15, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Oh, CRAP!!! Not the chocolate!
Blame it on George Bush. Everybody blames everything on George Bush.
He really doesn't seem to mind.
9 Steph // Jan 15, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Annie K- Oh Annie, you're going to join me in my misery? I'm so sorry. But just think how healthy we'll be. And you never know; I might end up coming over to the Atkins dark side. (I can hear Katdish now: "Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your bowels.")
Heather- Aliens! That's it! And water in Mexico DOES make me ill! I did have some vivid dreams last night… Something about a donkey and a sombrero…
Sherri – re: "Oh CRAP!"… Exactly.
10 Nick the Geek // Jan 15, 2009 at 9:11 pm
You poor thing. Now while I could take chocolate or leave it my wife would consider nto being able to eat chocolate a fate worse than death. What is mroe she would eat it even if she got violently ill afterward … she might use it as an excuse to eat mroe chocolate since it wouldn't stay down anyways.
11 katdish // Jan 15, 2009 at 9:41 pm
LET THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH DECLARE:
KATDISH IS RIGHT! I TOLD YOU SO! KATDISH IS RIGHT! I TOLD YOU SO!
Steph – Maybe it's just dysentary or some other horrible communicable disease, not the chocolate. (You're welcome. I'm a glass half-full kind of gal.)
Helen – I am in dumbstruck awe of your full blown lunacy followed by brief moments of apparent sanity. I am not worthy. (hanging my head in shame)
12 Helen // Jan 15, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Katdish, thank you. I am so touched….
13 Steph // Jan 16, 2009 at 12:59 am
Nick the Geek- Thank you for your sympathetic word. I thought I was totally with your wife on the subject of chocolate- that I'd eat it even if I knew it would make me violently ill… But I have to say, not a big craving for chocolate today. So maybe I'm changing? Charlie's already asking who switched his wife for this stranger.
Katdish- I knew you would gloat. Those on the Dark Side always do. I can hear you from here: "As you can see, my young apprentice, your candies have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational digestive system!"
Yes, I'm a sci-fi geek. What of it?
14 thefarmerfiles // Jan 16, 2009 at 1:29 am
aww feel better. It is the saddest thing to discover foods once loved by tour tummy are now better loved in your head.
15 katdish // Jan 16, 2009 at 2:21 am
Oh, I forgot to hassle you about the Christmas tree! Thanks for reminding me! I thought I was a slacker! SWEET FANCY MOSES! (okay, mine's still up, too)
16 Nick the Geek // Jan 16, 2009 at 5:04 am
If my wife suddenly turned her nose up at chocolate we would be heading to the ER. There would either be something very wrong with her or sh would be a pod person. Either way that warrants a trip to the ER. Not the one in town though. That is dangerous.
17 sherri // Jan 16, 2009 at 2:19 pm
One of my trees is still up, with a huge white tree bag over it.
My son came in and burst out laughing and said, "Mom, really. Like no one sees it since it's under a huge white bag! Are you telling people there's a vaccum under there?"
I felt so good about myself when I read that yours was still up!
And now katdish too!
I AM normal, I AM!
18 katdish // Jan 16, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Sherri – It is good to know that you're not the only one that still has Christmas stuff to put away isn't it? I look at my tree, and the dining room table covered with various snowmen, garland, wise men and sweet baby Jesus and think to myself, "Wow, I really need to put this stuff away." But then as I drive out of my neighborhood and see the plastic light up nativity scene in the yard at the end of the street I think to myself, "Now THOSE people are slackers!" (OW! OW! Plank in the eye! Plank in the eye!)
And while I consider it a blessing to be a source of encouragement to you and my other bloggity gal pals, I don't know if using Steph and me as the shining example of "Normal" is necessarily an accurate means of measurement.
19 LynnDel // Jan 16, 2009 at 9:53 am
I hate to go against the flow of the other comments, but as a dark chocolate connoseur (sorry, too lazy to use spelling dictionary on my cell phone this am), I can tell you that something is wrong with “dark chocolate” M&Ms. They don’t taste “right” to me. Will not even try them again to see if I get the same reaction as you. Test your other chocolate stuffs. Chocolate does tend to have a loosening effect, but shouldn’t enforce a reign on the throne.
20 Nina in Portugal // Jan 16, 2009 at 3:09 pm
It's good to meet you Steph!
I long for the day in my anti-sweet eating voyage to eat a few m&m's and declare myself full. I almost heard the hallelujah chorus when you said that.
I also have a connection with you. Before moving to the mission field, we lived in Georgia!! My husband was a pastor there. We LOVED the city we lived in…hope you're enjoying it the same.
I'll be back soon!
Thanks for stopping by my place.
Have a great weekend!
21 Helen // Jan 16, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Okay, my dining room table still has the tabletop tree on it. And the pointesettia tablecloth. The living room one is taken down and put away already. The tree. Not the tablecloth. I leave the Christmas livingroom tablecloth up all year (kidding). I have also taken down the nativity. I have not removed snowmen decorations. My snowmen are comfortable and will not be leaving until the weather gets warm. I also still have presents for people (read "mom's nephews and neices) who still haven't called mom, much less visited. No those are slackers….If you called all your aunts and uncles to wish them a Merry Christmas and/or Happy New Year, then you are not a slacker (are you listening Rick? Huh?!). People who haven't taken down all there Christmas decorations are not slackers. They are loving, giving people, who appreciate Christmas more than anyone else (that is my story, and I am sticking to it).
22 thedomesticfringe // Jan 16, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I don't think it's the chocolate…it can't be the chocolate! Wow, leftover M&M's. Is that true??? I'm not sure I can wrap my feeble mind around the concept of leftover M&M's. Hey, if you don't the rest of the bag, just send them over to the domestic fringe. I wouldn't want you getting sick again or anything.
-FringeGirl
23 Karmyn R // Jan 16, 2009 at 6:41 pm
I highly doubt it was teh chocolate. It just CAN'T be the chocolate. Because if this is the case – my world would end. I haven't had any sweets for 2 weeks either. I've been so good (and already lost 10 lbs, woohoo, thank you very much). To think that your body reacted to the chocolate because you haven't had any for 2 weeks makes my head implode. (I don't want it to happen to me).
24 Rachel @ Grasping. . // Jan 16, 2009 at 7:20 pm
LOL – congrats on making it two weeks! Maybe it was just the shock to your system. Oh – and thank you for changing your feed settings to show your whole posts! I will be much more on top of reading them now!
25 Suzy // Jan 17, 2009 at 1:31 am
Uh, Jack threw up all over my leather sofa last week. Yes, he is still alive. And I think I already told you about Grant, Conan, T-mobile and a ton of barf! Don't be a chocolate hater.
26 Helen // Apr 29, 2009 at 12:36 pm
My friend, I had a piece of chocolate cake for the first time in two months on Saturday. I just finished eating the cake when I got hit.
So, in my own words…
ANYTHING BUT THE CHOCOLATE! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCLATE! DON’T LEAVE ME! I WILL CHANGE!
Actually, chocolate and I have been apart long enough that I think I can bear its betrayal. If you ever want to talk about how chocolate has abandoned us, you know how to find me.
Helen’s last blog post..Swine Flu, and Cell Phones, Too
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