Happy New Year!
Did you ever notice that in the media coverage of the revelers in New York’s Times Square, they never mention that those many of those cheering people have probably wet themselves?
(What choice would you have standing shoulder-to-shoulder with a million strangers, with ZERO access to restroom facilities for an entire DAY?)
Hmm. Let’s see… New Year’s Eve Supplies:
horn, noisemaker, funky hat, giant 2009 glasses, streamers, twelve layers of clothing, secret flask, adult diapers
Somehow I think scent of urine would detract from all the excitement of watching the ball drop.
***
I hope you had an exciting New Year’s Eve (if you wanted exciting).
Or a boring one (if you wanted boring).
Us, we had a pretty boring NYE. A good thing when you’re staying home with three kids for the evening.
Because I don’t know about YOU, but for me, “exciting” with the kids is often linked to a visit to the emergency room.
***
Not that we played it entirely safe. We enjoyed our own risky behaviors, such as…
1. Watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s show on ABC, where we had to always have a hand on the “pause” button in case of inappropriate or scary commercials. (What is UP with all those spooky movie trailers?)
2. Switching, during local news, to Fox. Until it became clear that a) the talking heads would spend more time telling us about the show than SHOWING us what was on it; and b) The inappropriate content would not be limited to the commercials. (The first clue was that they were live in Las Vegas.)
My Public Service Announcement:
Whenever announcers describe a Cirque du Soleil act as “leaving nothing to the imagination,” TRUST THEM.
4. Letting the kids stay up till midnight. Kids who normally go to bed much earlier. And any parent knows that giving glass stemware filled with sparkling grape juice to an overtired six-year-old carries just a teensy bit of risk.
5. Letting the kids play with fire (fireworks). But we’re not THAT stupid. We did it at 9:30 pm. (see overtired kids risk above)
First, we gave them actual fire to hold in their actual hands, i.e. Sparklers:
Which burn down a lot faster than I’d remembered…
Later, their Daddy shot off Bottle Rockets:
Cuz I’m sure those are totally legal in Georgia, right? Right?
Later Charlie told me that he’d made a conscious decision to not share with the kids some “alternative” methods of launching bottle rockets.
Such as holding a few in your hand, lighting the fuse, then THROWING them up in the air.
Or having “Bottle Rocket Wars.” You know, where you shoot them AT EACH OTHER.
I thanked him for his decision. Profusely.
At midnight, Charlie and I and the ONE child who was awake (ironically, our Morning Person Hannah) watched the countdown, wished each other Happy New Year, and shook the other two awake to “toast” the start of 2009.
I hope your New Year began with just the right amount of fun and excitement.
And here’s to a fun and exciting (and urine-free) 2009!
21 responses so far ↓
1 cassie // Jan 2, 2009 at 11:13 am
You always can make me laugh! I was urine free as well!
2 Randommusings // Jan 2, 2009 at 11:51 am
Somehow, I have always just asumed that everone at the countdown (or parade, or ______) had to have super strong bladders. Or at least didn't take a water pill like me. Happy New Year. Glad it was urine free for the both of us. Gee, do you think that will catch on…"Have a urine free New Year!"?
3 Mom // Jan 3, 2009 at 1:45 am
You had me laughing so hard. I've always known your sense of humor was
warped and it is part of your charm
4 Charlie // Jan 3, 2009 at 2:32 am
We wish you a smell-free Christmas and a urine-free New Year.
5 Mel // Jan 3, 2009 at 2:44 am
Sounds like a wonderful NYE!!
6 Steph // Jan 3, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I am so happy to hear that you had a urine-free new year. I am always surprised at which of my throwaway comments get the biggest response.
And I totally agree that “Have a Urine-free New Year” needs to catch on.
We could include it in a song. But help me out here:
“We wish you a ……………….. Christmas, and a Urine-free New Year!”
I can't think of a word that fits.
If we come up with a good one, Annie K can put it on her No Fair Wear Tshirts next winter!
7 Randommusings // Jan 3, 2009 at 12:35 pm
unsoiled?
8 Randommusings // Jan 3, 2009 at 12:36 pm
unsoiled? pristine? decontaminated? I personally like unsoiled
9 sherri // Jan 3, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Yes, we had a urine free evening (pretty good for a gal who needs her bladder tied up)
I know, I know, TMI!
Honestly, Big AL was snoring aboout 8:30, and I was coming in and out of my old lady coma, willing myself awake right before the ball dropped! (it's true what they say, you Can hear while you're in a coma! I HEARD them counting down!)
Very funny….you are warped to even wonder about the urine issues! That's what sets you apart. YOU ARE SPECIAL!
10 @ngie // Jan 3, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Your post inspired me to google: porta potties at times square new years eve. My investigations proved that there are none. But all the lists of tips for preparing for such a monumental occasion recommend that you use the bathroom before you go. Duh!
Ours was pee-free but it wasn't puke free. Naaaasty I tell ya! One of those risks involved with over tired children things you mentioned I think.
11 Nick the Geek // Jan 4, 2009 at 2:33 am
Steph,
Thanks for dropping by my blog and giving my a good idea for a new post. Look for it next Saturday.
As for your NWE … well mine was much less eventful, but with 4 kids under 6 we have a long way to go. Right now none of our days are pee free, but most of it is basically non-intrusive. My dad, though, has taken to teaching my son, 4, to pee in the woods. They live on a bit more than 3 acres in a division where the smallest property is 2 acres. That is right next to them and is undeveloped, so their closest neighbor is a fair ways away, but still …
12 Nick the Geek // Jan 4, 2009 at 2:36 am
Oh, and I just wanted to say this also. My wife is a former Calie girl. We are now in a relatively rural area. The county has less than 50k pop so that is rural compared to previous places I've lived. They just got Wal-Mart this summer.
13 Steph // Jan 4, 2009 at 2:45 am
Just wait until your 4yo decides to apply Grandpa's instruction in the middle of a busy park. (Happened to a friend of ours.)
Hey! Outdoors is outdoors, right?
And re: your Cali girl wife… Is she from an urban or rural area in CA? I grew up rural, so that did help me adjust when we moved here.
14 katdish // Jan 4, 2009 at 3:58 am
Dude. That post made ME wet myself. Thanks! (snort!)
15 Steph // Jan 4, 2009 at 8:31 am
Why am I not surprised that you googled it? That's what I did when the idea occurred to me. My research yielded the same results as yours.
Can you imagine holding it that long? From what I read, they barricade everyone in after a certain time that day, and if they leave, they can't re-enter. How cruel is that?
Of course, if you had a pukey NYE, you had your own challenges.
16 Steph // Jan 4, 2009 at 8:35 am
Soooo… Apparently you did NOT have a urine-free January 3rd? Sorry to hear that.
Oh! And I have new song lyrics: “We wish you a poo-less Christmas, and a urine-free New Year!”
Whaddaya think?
17 Dear Gabby (sherri) // Jan 4, 2009 at 10:08 am
COME CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOG SITE!
http://deargabby-sherri.blogspot.com
It's still just in he infant stage, but I need a Steph @ red clay comment to Christen it!
Who will be the first?
18 Balanced Melting Pot // Jan 5, 2009 at 9:06 am
At the temperature that it was that night, I wouldn't be surprised if their bladders simply froze over
19 Nick the Geek // Jan 6, 2009 at 3:11 am
My wife is from a bit of both. She was literally born on a ranch in Mira Loma, but they moved to Fontana.
20 Steph // Jan 6, 2009 at 12:41 pm
You know, I never thought of that… I guess if you're gonna have to freeze, a good side-effect would be a frozen bladder.
Then again, if they WERE wearing Depends, freezing temperatures could make their pants a little stiff.
21 thefarmerfiles // Jan 9, 2009 at 10:39 am
Just catching up with everyone.! LOL you woke up the others and shook them to wish them a Happy New Year's!
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