Wow wow wow. You really DO like me! 
Yesterday’s post yielded the most comments I’ve ever gotten, and you all are so encouraging!
…
More importantly, it sounds like I stumbled upon something we all deal with to varying degrees:
Being “real”. It’s such a tough thing to wrap your brain around, isn’t it? Am I being authentic with the people in my life? If not, how do I make the outer me match the inner me? Is that even possible?
…
Since this topic has already generated such good discussion, I’d like to continue the conversation.
How would you answer these questions?
- Are you more “real” online than in person? I don’t think I mean in terms of shyness, because I’m beginning to discover that we bloggers seem to have one thing in common: we’re bigger introverts in person than in cyberspace. To compare apples to apples, think of your closest friends – those who know you best in the real world. Would they recognize the online you? And vice versa: would your online friends be shocked at how disconnected you are in real life?
- If there is a difference in your personas, what is the main reason why? (Try to narrow it down to one.)
- Do you see any hope in changing this about yourself? Do you have a plan or strategy? What is God doing?
…
I have some theories on how God accomplishes this change within each of us.
(Or at least how he changed ME.) Hint: You know the Skin Horse in the children’s story “The Velveteen Rabbit”? A variation on that.
But I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment. Let’s see what comes of the discussion.
PS I’m struggling with the desire to apologize for the serious post. But I guess you’ll either appreciate it or not. If you don’t like it, that’s okay. I’m sure my brain will spit out some more Voodoo Doberman-type posts soon.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Stonefox // Sep 20, 2008 at 3:25 am
I think my family would not recognize the online me. That is because they have always put me in a box and told me who I am, and still do. Since I am a “missionary” they expect certain things and to them, that is who I am.
They have never gotten to know who “I” really am. It actually took me going overseas to find out who I really was myself.
2 Elizabeth Channel // Sep 20, 2008 at 8:05 pm
1) I am more “real” online because I have been incredibly authentic in real life and have suffered because of it. (I felt like God called me to be more open and honest but then “friends” used this later to cause pain. Now I am so much more guarded than I ever was before (in person). If someone is not being “real” with me in the blogosphere or in person, I just can’t hang with them. I don’t have the time or energy for what I like to call the “great-sayers.” (“Oh, it’s all great, everything’s just great!”)
Like you, I know God called me to start blogging, and while I’m still not sure why, I know I’m supposed to do this, so I am.
2) Difference in personas: I tend to be more open with my opinions in the blogosphere than I would be in person.
3) God is working through bitterness in my life. Bitterness toward people with whom I was open and then used that to hurt me, and bitterness toward some family members who are incredibly critical. Lots of working. And working. My hope is that He can show me how to rid myself of this bitterness so that it will not trickle down into my children. It’s not a legacy I want to leave.
OK, that’s me being quite open and honest!
3 Steph // Sep 20, 2008 at 10:39 pm
@Stonefox,
Being put in a box is such a common thing, isn’t it? I know I’m guilty of it myself. One cool thing about new friends (whether real or virtual) is that they meet us where we are NOW. Not where we were at 8yo (or 18). I think those friendships are what helped me gain confidence in who God was growing me to be. Now I’ve been able to share that person with those who’ve known me forever. For that matter, letting my family know about this blog has been a major and recent step in that journey.
@Elizabeth,
Thank you for being so very honest. Forgiveness is such a process. Over the past 20 years, I’ve seesawed between thinking I had TOTALLY forgiven everyone who I perceived to have wronged me — and realizing that I was harboring a ton of bitterness toward someone I hadn’t even realized I was really mad at. Almost a dizzying experience.
Thank you both for your comments. I wonder where God will lead this blog next… ?
4 Rachel K // Sep 22, 2008 at 10:06 am
The easy answer is that I express myself better when I’m able to write my thoughts. However, I think that’s a copout. I tend to be talk too much at times, so I’m constantly trying to censor myself in person and online. . .online you can always use the backspace key. For years, I have been the friendly girl, who had very few friends. A large part of this is because I have little time to socialize with anyone other than my son’s friends or work friends. I think those friends would never recognize me online, but my “real, true” friends wouldn’t be surprise at all. Too bad I rarely have time for them anymore. . .I don’t know the plan or strategy, but I do think God is working on me. I’m just not sure what he’s leading me toward. I am so thankful I started blogging, however. You guys are my lifeline to . . .ME. I get to quit being a harried, over-worked mom for a few minutes and just be me.
Leave a Comment