Good day Saturday!
I think I might need to create a regular feature called “Saturday ‘Splainin.” Cuz I’m just a little worried that my mom and her friends might hijack my comments page until I suck up and apologize correct some inaccuracies in my Voodoo Doberman post.
Haven’t read it yet? Go ahead. I’ll wait.
Okay, so hopefully this’ll clear things up:
- While I certainly qualify as a redneck after growing up where I did, my dear, beloved mother is NOT a redneck.
I Repeat — Not. A. Redneck.
Poor thing grew up in suburban Southern California, for goodness’ sake. And when we moved back to suburbia my senior year of high school, I think she threw a party. I must say that she adapted surprisingly well to country life. Chickens, big garden, garage sale junkie…
But like I said: Not. A. Redneck. … At. All.
Now as for my dad, I think he just might be a redneck. After all, he always called himself an Okie, which I think is California-speak for redneck. But don’t call him a redneck to his face. He’s got black belts in a bunch of martial arts, and he can totally kick your butt.
- Our property was not all dirt. We had a very nice green lawn. With fruit trees (that my horse ate, but that’s a different post) and a swingset (that my horse used to scrape me off his back, but, ditto). My mom shanghai’d recruited us kids to help water her lawn, so it was always quite lush and green.
Now, in my defense, I just said in my original post that our property was dusty. And since most of it was taken up by dirt driveway, this was technically true (, Mom). But like the lady says: Lawn. Green and lush.
- We had a very clean and tidy trailer mobile home. The fact that I could sit on my bed and touch the opposite wall of my room — and that we had to take turns going down the hallway because passing wasn’t an option — just made it cozy.
- The store that my parents owned was a secondhand store. Not a junk store. Even if it did stock a lot of junk. I am now aware that that doesn’t necessarily make it a “junk store.” Got it. I have been reeducated enlightened.
Any questions?
Happy, Mom? 
See you Monday!
12 responses so far ↓
1 Heidi // Sep 5, 2008 at 11:43 pm
HA! This is so funny because last night my husband and I were talking about his mom and I just kept saying that she is a redneck. Like when she told her son (my husband) while he was getting pounded by another kid… “Ya’ll are too close to the lake, take it over to the field and finish what you started.” So they did and she watched until he finished getting his beating. Oh, and did I mention that she was arrested herself for going at it with another woman?
In my book, that’s redneck territory.
But I would NEVER say that, of course!!
I wanted to say thank you for your wonderful comment on my blog. It was so encouraging. The Lord has really worked in my life to bring freedom in so many ways…but now I am so aware of my evil tendencies and so scared to try things because of them. Your comment was a great encouragement, and I look forward to getting to know you and learning from you along your journey.
Have a great weekend!
2 Suzy // Sep 6, 2008 at 8:51 am
I do remember scooping dog poo off of grass:)
3 Steph // Sep 6, 2008 at 8:57 am
@Suzy,
OMG, how could I forget? Of course I think the dog poo was YOUR job. I “only” had to scoop the horse poo.
@Heather,
I have to agree with your redneck assessment. But I should also emphasize that I do NOT think MY mom is a redneck. (Hear that, Mommy?)
Also, thank YOU for your great comments. As a new blogger, I totally appreciate how encouraging you’ve been. And it does seem like you and I have parallel journeys (even if separated by a few thousand miles).
I look forward to talking more.
4 Joanne // Sep 6, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Too much fun is going on in this post! When I was done laughing at the apol, er, corrections, I realized I liked the back and forth with you and your mom. Love the cross-outs
Fun reading …
5 terri tiffany // Sep 6, 2008 at 7:41 pm
This was soooo very cute!! You could write a whole book starting with that!!
6 Carol Apgar // Sep 6, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I really enjoyed your post. I found my way to your site from following a link from one of my co-members from the Christian Writer’s Guild. Your work is excellent and I really could identify with you. My redneck roots from Northwestern PA follow me all the way down the Susquehanna River….
7 Mom // Sep 6, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Thank you dear daughter. I feel exonerated. I imagined all of your readers visualizing a leaning delapitated trailer, 1 acre of dirt, 5 scroungy dogs, and a rusty swing
set. I did forget about all the poop that was generated by those 5 dogs and a horse. Since I don’t remember scooping any of it, apparently you and Suzy were in charge of it. I can’t for the life of me remember what the heck you did with a small mountain of poop scooped daily. I laughed at us trying to pass each other in the hallway. It was even more interesting when Buffalo was laying in the middle of it with the swamp cooler vent blowing on him from above & all of us stepping over his 90 lb. carcass. Don’t forget the play house, above ground pool and 4 rental cabins that rounded out our little acre of paradise.
8 Steph // Sep 6, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Joanne, Terri, Carol, THANK YOU for your encouraging words.
My husband is feeling quite smug since he told me I would be great at humor.
Mom, YOU ROCK. Not only did you not disown me — you upped the ante with even more examples of redneckishness. I am quite impressed.
9 Mom // Sep 7, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Well, thank you. I like to help in any way that I can.
I love you taking me down memory lane. So many things
I have forgotten about and then you have me rolling with
laughter.
10 Mom // Sep 7, 2008 at 11:50 pm
My friend Olivia wrote me this after reading your blog.
This is SO funny….she certainly has a talent! How neat that she writes this.
11 Nick the Geek // Jan 9, 2009 at 3:10 am
Hey Your Dad is an Okie? That's cool. I'm not technically, though my sister is, but I claim Oklahoma. Alas I am in mourning now.
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