I’ve written before that God has called me to connect more with others, specifically in my neighborhood and school. But this weekend I’ve been reminded of how HARD it is to love some people. They might not be easy to connect to, or maybe they’re actually unpleasant. Faced with that difficulty in the past, I always coped by pulling back. I might be pleasant, but I never really pushed past the discomfort. I didn’t dive into their life. This “worked” for me, because keeping my distance let me see them as problems or obstacles rather than people. Getting to know them in spite of the discomfort would force me to see them as people, and thus feel convicted to love them. 

I’m beginning to realize that love is not only the greatest commandment; it’s also the hardest to keep. Pondering the famous love passage in in First Corinthians 13 today, I started thinking about how I might adapt it to illustrate this struggle. Here’s what came out:

Love is difficult, love is uncomfortable. It does not come easy, it does not flow. It is not smooth, it is not self-sustaining, it is not easily communicated, it keeps no shield up against pain. Love does not dwell in me, but emerges only through Christ in me. It always challenges, always invites, always reveals, always takes risks. Love never fails.

(I kept the last sentence the same because it’s still the best ending. As hard as love is, God never fails to challenge us to do it.)

I think we want to believe that the goal in all of life is to practice something long enough for it to be natural or easy. Like muscle memory for an athlete, I guess. We look at those we admire, who seem to love so effortlessly, and we think they’ve arrived at the “love is easy” level. Or maybe they were so naturally talented to begin with that they never had to try. They seem so good at it, it must be instinctive, right? 

As I mature as a believer and do grow in my love for others, I realize it doesn’t really get easier; it just becomes difficult in different ways. In fact, learning to love one person just allows God to put others in my path – and each one is more and more difficult to love. This school year holds the challenge for me of learning to see that kind of person as someone who God loves. I’m called to push past any discomfort and be like Jesus even when I don’t feel like it.

I think I’ll spend a lot of time reading the correct version of I Corinthians 13:4-8a.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always, trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (NIV)