Yes, another video post. Please forgive me, but it WAS Super Bowl Sunday. One of my favorite commercials came early in the game:

Who knew Abe Vigoda was still alive? (According to SOME on the Twitter, he made a second appearance during the halftime show. But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t him. I think he would’ve been able to hit the high notes.)

The minute I saw the commercial above, I was reminded of how much I heart Betty White. At 88, she’s still totally articulate and hilarious. As evidenced in the SAG Awards a few weeks ago:

For more funny stuff, visit my friend Wendy. Even if she STILL refuses to get rid of her blog jukebox.

For your Saturday enjoyment:

OK Go – This Too Shall Pass from OK Go on Vimeo.

Note: One continuous take.

When I found out it was the same guys who did the Treadmill Video (at the end of the linked post), I wasn’t surprised at all.

In my real life, I have a lot of friends who just don’t “get” Twitter. They say they don’t have time for it  (WHAT? Do they think I do?) And they always ask, “WHY would I want to know what a total stranger had for breakfast?”

(I always answer, “It’s at least as interesting as knowing what COLOR YOUR BABY’S BOWEL MOVEMENT WAS TODAY.”)

(Then we don’t talk much after that.)

Anyway.

If you’ve ever experienced the Twitter, you know how much useful information you can learn from fellow  Twitterer/Tweeter/ Twerp/Twordsmiths. Things like HOW TO GET WHITE TEETH, and WAYS TO EARN A MILLION DOLLARS WHILE SITTING ON YOUR A$$.

But enough about my Tweets.

This week, like every other week on the Twitter, I was edified and enlightened in amazing ways. Allow me to share…

1.

My follower count on Twitter (around 4,500! HOLLA!) may have nothing to do with my social media fabulosity.

KathleenOverby: @redclaydiaries Without glasses and only first cuppa, I just read your bio as ‘former Call girl’….woops

Me: @KathleenOverby WOW. I wonder how many other people think I’m a former call girl? And does that make them more or less likely 2 follow me?

Katdish: @redclaydiaries I’ve just discovered the secret to your high followers count.

Me: @Katdish For 2010 I’m removing the “former” from the profile.

2.

Twitter improves housework.

Me: So I’m kinda copying @HeatheroftheEO & livetweeting housework. But bc of ADD I’m starting w powder room. Annnnd GO. (back soon!)

Me: (one hour later) <throws self down on couch> Why hello Twitter! I just finished cleaning a living room, powder room, & DOG. Done w housework for the day.

Me: @HeatheroftheEO That was a clever way to handle cleaning. (I’m easily overwhelmed, so I benefited)

HeatheroftheEO: @redclaydiaries ME TOO. I think this should be an on-going Twitter-cleaning-for-people-with-ADD event.

Me: @HeatheroftheEO YES. If we did it once a week, I’d be cleaning about 5x more often than I do normally.

3.

Mullets smell like green apples.

jewda: did you know that mullets smell like green apples?

Me: @jewda And apparently cat butts smell like hyacinth.

jewda: @redclaydiaries I’m not sure which air freshener is more disturbing. at least cat butt is something natural, made by God. But the mullet?

Me: @jewda Aw, you don’t think the mullet is made by God? How could he have a problem with business in the front, party in the back?

4.

I’m not the only parent whose photo album is full of extreme-extreme close-ups of my kids.

Me: Does anyone else have this problem? I pull out the videocam & my kids suddenly crowd in 2 inches from it. I’m SICK of eyeball shots.

arestlessheart: @redclaydiaries mine does this with my camera, AND she smiles by squinting her eyes all up…

mrshart03: @redclaydiaries totally – my son also always wants to ’see’ what’s on the digital screen…

makeadiff21: @redclaydiaries Hahaha. Either that or the hiding from the camera shots. That is what I have of my youngest’s last almost 4 years.

Me: Poll results: Rushing the camera = normal kid behavior. I need a lapel cam if I’m ever gonna catch my kids doing something cute.

5.

PR pitches often have little to do with reality.

Me: I just got a PR pitch from someone who apparently thinks I’m an Orthodox Jew.

marni71: @redclaydiaries Mazeltov!

helenatrandom: @redclaydiaries I just hate it when that happens… (snort)

Me: @marni71 L’Chaim! Nothing wrong with BEING an orthodox Jew. But my ancestry leans more toward Russian Orthodox. Entirely different animal

mylestones: @redclaydiaries you mean you’re not? oh, better take back the kosher care package I picked up to give you at Purim.

6.

It would not be a good idea to ever give me laudanum. Ever.

Me: @katdish @beckfromfrogandtoad Doesn’t pleurisy sound Victorian? Like its symptoms should be fanning yourself & fainting?

[in response to Beck's recent diagnosis of pleurisy (infection of the chest wall)]

beckfromfrogandtoad: @redclaydiaries @katdish It makes me sound like Mr. Woodhouse from Emma. I’m going to start eating only oatmeal and lecturing young women on the moral virtues of dry stockings.

Me: @beckfromfrogandtoad Hee! Oo! Oo! And you’d need to take laudanum. Lots & lots of laudanum. For the fainting.

beckfromfrogandtoad: @redclaydiaries I’d spend my days looking Pale And Interesting. As opposed to Pale And Ghastly

Me: @beckfromfrogandtoad I like it. You’d be like Val Kilmer in Tombstone. I’m your huckleberry.

See? Look at all that you’re missing by not joining the Twitter bandwagon?

Haven’t had enough in-depth analysis?

Visit the Twitter Ho-Down at Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants.

My finger, rockin’ the Dora Band-aid

Frugal or sentimental?

You be the judge.

Happy Groundhog Day!

What? It’s not happy for you? Could it be because of that portly prognosticator Punxutawney Phil, who SAW his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter?

Well, it’s like he says:

So I guess you Yanks are just gonna have to grin and bear it. Enjoy your snow.

But Phil is not the only hog around. Here in Atlanta, we have General Beauregard Lee, who did NOT see his shadow this morning.

And for some reason, I’m more inclined to believe HIM:

Did you ever have one of those days when you can’t stop yawning? But your jaw aches for some reason and a big yawn makes it feel like it’s dislocating? Then you think about how much yawning hurts, which makes you yawn even more?

Have you ever wished your kid would Just. Stop. Talking? And she’s home from school with you because her eyes hurt so you’re wondering if it’s pinkeye, but it might just be that she rubbed them too much last night after getting something in them? And now she’s feeling chipper and wants to chat about her Nintendo DS game about fashion and what you think she should make her character wear?

Do you ever gaze at your TV screen and wonder where all that dust on it came from? And then you remember that you live on a dirt road, which explains the dust but not the dog hair on the kitchen floor or the goo on the bathroom counter but you choose not to focus on those and try to think of ways to get the county to pave your road because that would solve your entire cleaning problem?

And your kid still Will. Not. Stop. Talking?

• “I can’t decide if I should wear my hair up or down today…”
• “It’s just really weird that this character only shows up on Mondays…”
• “Don’t YOU think it’s weird that she only shows up on Mondays?”
• “THIS character says she takes cinema very seriously… I don’t even know what that means.”
• “What do you think I should wear?”
• “Do you see Scruff lying on your feet?”
• “Isn’t he CUTE?”
• “He’s asking, ‘Why is Hannah here? Isn’t she supposed to be in the big building?’”
• “Cuz he sees the big building every morning when we go to school.”
• “I’m hungry.”
• “I don’t know what I want to eat.”
• “Wow, my stomach just grumbled.”
• “Maybe it’s just a bubble from my coffee.”
• “Do you think it’s cool that I like coffee?”
• “Did YOU like coffee when YOU were ten?”
• “I wonder what I should have to eat.”
• “Can I make myself a little snack?”

You’ve never experienced any of that? Me neither.

But if I did, then I’d probably be unable to write a coherent blog post and would be tempted to just ramble and rant instead.

As a child of the 80s, I have a special place in my heart for the movie Back to the Future.

Michael J Fox? Cutie. 80s wardrobe? Laughable. Crispin Glover? Creepy even then…

Anyway, recently my friend Bridget (the same Bridget who hosted the AMAZING blog carnival on Peace yesterday check it out over thirty entries!) did a post on HER connection to my favorite movie about time-traveling DeLoreans.

And get this: Bridget went to the high school where they filmed the movie!!!! For all the stalkeresque fascinating details, read it here.

Today, only a couple weeks after her post, I came across this video of Tom Wilson, aka “Biff” of Back to the Future fame. Did you know that he’s a stand-up comic now? Me neither, but apparently he is. And I have to say that he’s a whole lot more funny and cool than the character he played.

If you’ve ever wondered what it was like for him to work on that movie, well… don’t do this:

I’m here to help.

(And I SO want him to say “Butthead” on MY friend’s answering machine. Just sayin.)

Sky a vibrant blue.
So bright that it makes your
Whole face squinch up.

Only hours before…
All gray. Wet. Cold.

And hours from now,
Gusts will scud feathery
Clouds across the blue.

Wind rocking oaks and pines.
Saplings and pillars of 100 years,
And some will fall.

But for now, a lull.
Aching beauty, still
And warm.

Time between storms
Is short. And even when
It’s not short, it’s always
Between.
Storms.

Yes, I say,
But that’s weather.
Everyone knows it’s
Never the same.

The only thing to
Truly predict is
The unexpected.

Wait.

So smiling TV suit says
Expect storms,
And I do.

But still small voice
whispers across centuries,
In this world you
Will have trouble.

And I
Keep hoping that
The last storm was
The.
Last.
Storm.

Perhaps I’d be
Better off
Holding a lull
Loosely.

Face to sun,
Eyes squinched,
Sponging up warmth.

But not expecting it
To stay.

Knowing that clear skies
Will give way
To shadow

For as long as we
Remain in a world
Of shadows.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

-Jesus
(John 16:32-33)

This is my entry on
PEACE
for today’s One Word at a Time
Blog Carnival

Serendipity (N.)

Definition: finding something unexpected and useful while searching for something else entirely.

Usage: Last night on the Twitter, my friend Nick the Geek offered a pile of dog hair to anyone who wanted it.

Well, what serendipity! I had just decided on my topic for today’s post. DOG HAIR.

Now you might think that an offer of dog hair could not be considered “useful” in any context. But you would be wrong.

An abundance of extra dog hair would be tremendously serendipitous within a certain community of crafters. Yes, I’m talking about people who make things with dog hair.

No, not this:

Although I imagine there’s a market for it with skinny little rat dogs.

***

And not this:

But I have my suspicions…

***

No, what I’m really referring to is THIS:

Read this tag line with me, shall we?
“Better a sweater from a dog you know and love than from a sheep you’ll never meet”

Really?

Really.

Now I know what you’re asking… Are some people actually insane enough to knit an garment from dog hair?

Yes. Yes they are.

From within the book:

“What could be more delightful than wearing mittens from your Malamute, or a sweater from your Samoyed?”

and

“You’re harvesting what would normally end up clogging your vacuum cleaner anyway.”

Well okay then. With the vacuum cleaner logic, I guess I should start making pottery out of dog poo?

(Just supplement Fido’s diet with a healthy serving of CLAY….)

***

Some of you still don’t believe that people do this, do you? For you, I have evidence.

Behold:

The Dog Hair Scarf

(Found by googling: knit with dog hair)

***

But the scarf has NOTHING on this:

Wait for it…

…

The Sweater

Along with (presumably) the fiber sources

Personally, I think the little flower appliques are a nice touch.

So Nick? You needed to do something with some extra dog hair?

I got your serendipity right here.

PS  AND I now know what to do with my own fiber source:

PPS While I find myself hilarious, I have to encourage you to click over to Amazon and read the reviews of the book.

Pay special attention to NedMuffin. He might be my new muse.

Now that I’ve emerged from my strange-and-most-likely-hormone-induced fog, I’d like to say that I’m no longer Twuant (*absent from the Twitter). I’d like to say that. But really, my visits to the Twitter have still been sporadic.

But lucky you… I’m gonna participate in the Twitter Ho-Down at Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants anyway!

And maybe luckier you… it’s a short post.

Enjoy… a sampler of the wit and wisdom of redclaydiaries…

Steph: @CandySteele When exactly do you don the coconut bra next week?

Candy: @redclaydiaries By Tuesday I’ll be sporting it proudly yet humbly. I have a huge hat.

S: @CandySteele Huge hat? Gimme a second. I’m trying to think of a way to connect huge hat & coconut bra in the most TWSS* way possible… (*That’s What She Said)

C: @redclaydiaries well good luck with that. I’ve become twitter smart AND street smart

S: @CandySteele Aw, don’t count me out yet…. I could compare hat size to coconut size…

C: @redclaydiaries Precisely the intent.

***

Sarah Salter: Hey, guess what? It’s hump day!

Steph: @sarahmsalter Oh, now that is RIFE with possibilities. U must WANT us to embarrass you.

Sa: @redclaydiaries Resist the temptation, Steph. Resist the temptation.

St: @sarahmsalter You should know by now that I’m not very good at resisting temptation.

Sa: @redclaydiaries Practice makes perfect.

Wendy @weightwhat: @sarahmsalter TWSS!!

St: @weightwhat SNORT. Good morning! Wanna gang up on @sarahmsalter with me?

W: @redclaydiaries Is there a better way to start the day?

***

Steph: @billycoffey Good mahnin Mr Coffey!

Billy: @redclaydiaries Nice accent Steph

S: @billycoffey I’ve decided to stop fighting it. I’ve got 3 Southern kids; I’m as good as a Southerner now.

B: @redclaydiaries Now see, at least you have that going for you.

S: @billycoffey There ARE certain words I refuse to say. I will never call a shopping cart a buggy.

B: @redclaydiaries But that’s what it is.

S: @billycoffey NO IT IS NOT. A BUGGY IS PULLED BY A HORSE IN LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. THE END.

B: @redclaydiaries Slowly…backing…away….

***

Hmm. Maybe the hormones aren’t ENTIRELY out of my system…