For goodness’ sake.

For the sake of goodness.

Because goodness deserves your attention…

You really should visit the GOODNESS Blog Carnival on

Bridget Chumbley’s One Word at a Time.

***

Before I go on, I feel like I should say,

“And now for something completely different…”

In Jerusalem last week, we visited Yad Vashem, Israel’s Holocaust Memorial. For some reason, as I’ve tried today to ponder the subject of “goodness,” what keeps coming to mind is Yad Vashem.

Odd, isn’t it? A museum dedicated to remembering the Holocaust represents very little that is good.

But maybe not so odd… perhaps sometimes to bring attention to goodness, we need to show it in contrast to evil.

Dragging darkness out into light…. Not the only definition of goodness, certainly.

But maybe some scenes look sharper – stand out more – when viewed in stark relief.

Image of Uziel Spiegel
At the entrance to the Yad Vashem Children’s Memorial.

The Children’s Memorial was funded by a donation from Abraham and Edita Spiegel, Holocaust survivors and parents of Uziel, who was killed in Auschwitz in 1944. The simple, ominous exhibit commemorates 1.5 MILLION children (at least) who died in the Holocaust. Darkness, candles twinkling like thousands of stars lining the walls, and a woman’s voice reading the name of every known child victim. That’s it.

To go through the entire list, reading names during opening hours every day, takes eighteen months.

Eighteen months.

As I said at the beginning of this post, goodness does deserve our attention. I guess today’s post is a reminder of what goodness is NOT.

Please do go visit Bridget for links to dozens of other perspectives on the subject.

Dear Dieree,

Todayy I came THIS close to catching prey.

Ruhmember how I used too git tertles evree day? Ah, thowse were the dayz… Crunchee on the outside and chewee inside. Mmmm, tertles.

Yeah, yer right. Tertles wuz badd for my teeeth. Annd Mom sed thay made my brethh smell like fish. Shee even sed eeting tertles made ME smell like fish.

Wutevver. It wuz still reeely fun licking the bowl… I mean shell … wen I finishd.

Enyway, todayy wen a big bird got hurt and lannded in the yard and I chaysed it, Dad yelld at mee. He tole me NO and so I got scayred.

Then Scruf got out and chaysed it tooo. He sed he wanted it to be his prizner, wutevver that is.

(The bird was BIG, so I wuz kinda hoping it wood EAT Scruf.)

Dad yelld more and I got more scayred. And the bird couldnt fly at awl. Finelly Scruf chaysed it into the garazge and it hided under Dad’s truck. Dad mayde us doggs go in the howse after that.

He sed the bird was a vulcher. Momm called sumbudee to come get it, then she sneaked out to tayke pikchers of the bird.

Deer Dieree, you wood not BAHLEEV how lowd Mom wuz out there. She sed it wuz becaz she trippd on kid toyz. Awl I knoh is that she did a tarribl job stawking and scared the vulcher right out of the garazge annd down the hill.

Sense the vulcher’s gone, Mom sez I ken go outside later. I wonder wut eating a vulcher will make me smell like.

Stay toond, Dieree. I heer they taste like chickin.

Mmm, chickin.

Me:

Home from Israel since Friday morning.
Overcoming jet lag. Watching cartoons with my kids.

Photo:

The Western Wall of the Herodian Temple in Jerusalem
(the only part remaining after its destruction in 78 A.D.)

The old man is an ultra-Orthodox Jew,
preparing to pray beside the Wall.

I haven’t forgotten y’all. I’ve got LOADS to write about.

***

Next Week.

Okay, so I’m in Israel. Which means I should be writing deep, meaningful, travelogue-ish, photo-filled posts about what I’m seeing and experiencing. Right?

Well, you’re right. But a) I have 10 minutes; b) this is the first time I have high-speed internet; and c) Do you remember whose blog you’re reading?

No really, I do want to write more about the experience, because it’s been great so far. But for now, I’m going to take advantage of the Twitter Ho-Down and post the “Best of” my traveling tweets.

Sorry/You’re welcome:

International Travel on the Twitter

Said goodbye to kids & sitter. On our way to airport to fly to Israel! Tons of preparations b4 we left, but now we can enjoy the ride!

Airport security nearly strip searched Charlie (titanium hip man). I was in charge of bags. So of course I tried to lose his laptop & belt

News flash: For flights to Israel, u get TWO security screenings. But all of us made it onto the plane- even Charlie’s hip. Woot!

Dear Husband, u eat the leftover Valentines hearts that I scavenged at Publix & brought in my carry-on at ur own peril. U have been warned.

Tweeting from Tel Aviv. Woot!

Thx for all the mazel tovs! Now waiting bleary eyed for Charlie and luggage. And humming Shalom Alechem song.

Luggage! We have luggage!

Oops. Trying again. Luggage! And Trolley Boy!

U guys… I have used my entire data allotment for the day. We’ve been here 90 minutes. CRAP. So… No more pics til I have wifi.

Sitting in a tour bus. Waiting 4 2 missing passengers. We just broke open the inboard cooler. Just water.

@marni71 I want my money back. We were promised the “I love Jesus but I drink a little” bus. Which reminds me I need to repost that video.

Lovely hotel w a view of Mediterranean which we’ll see in the morning when we check out. Dinner, talk, check email, BED.

On the road by the Mediterranean from Tel Aviv to Caesarea. If u ignore the signs in Hebrew, it looks like Calif. Sunny & 70 degrees

Visited Caesarea, where Paul appealed to Herod Agrippa b4 being sent to Rome. Beautiful ruins of Roman theatre, palace on the coast

Now leaving Mt Carmel where Elijah confronted the prophets of Baal. Fits w the name we gave our bus: Baalbusters.

Good morning! Almost 4 pm in Israel. For lunch I had my 1st of MANY falafels. Now we’re riding from Megiddo to Nazareth in the rain.

***

Okay, that’s all I can do before breakfast. Yesterday we did Caesarea, Mount Carmel, Megiddo, Nazareth, and Tiberias.

Charlie’s tapping his foot now, waiting for me, so I’d better go.

Hugs and kisses!

Steph

BUSYBUSYBUSYBUSY…

Today I have to visit the Apple Store’s Genius Bar. Because my iPhone has delusions of grandeur. Yesterday, I woke up from a nap to discover that my pocket-size iPhone thinks it’s an iPad, or at least the size of one. The screen has somehow zoomed in so far that I can only view 2 buttons at a time on the home screen. (Normally, you can see 12.) I’ve tried everything I can think of, including the infamous “turn it off, wait ten minutes, and pray that it somehow fixed itself” method.

Anyway, this is an urgent problem because we leave on a trip in a very short time. The critical info:

Location: Israel.

Activity: Tour with John Maxwell and members of his church.

Purpose: Business and pleasure.

I’d write more about my trip now, but frankly I have to leave the house in 10 minutes or risk angering the Apple Genius.

Since I’m having computerish problems, this bit on a friend’s Facebook page made me laugh.

(I have no idea who the source is. Probably NOT an Apple Genius.)

Who’s On First for the 21st Century

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: Word in Office for Windows..

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’…………..

***

NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING:

How does a blogger FORGET to mention that she’s preparing for a trip to the Middle East until only days before she leaves? Let’s just say I don’t multitask well. If I’M not thinking about it until the weekend before, you can’t expect me to tell YOU about it.

But I promise, I’ll try to make it up to you with more details and hopefully some posts “on location.”

Now excuse me; an iPhone intervention awaits.

What’s new with me lately?

Tuesday night Charlie picked up our wonderful friend Simon at the airport. Simon’s from England, and apparently he controls the weather. Because last month they had record-breaking snow there. And only three days after his arrival, we had –

But first, let me tell you about one day later:

Wednesday night I picked up my new glasses:

Cute, huh? I like how they LOOK. But I’m still not sure I enjoy how they SEE. That’s because they’re progressive lenses.

a.k.a. INVISIBLE BIFOCALS. a.k.a. OLD LADY GLASSES.

Thus, every waking moment since Wednesday, I’ve been tilting my head up and down… and up and down…. and up and down… trying to focus on the TV, the road, the pastor at church, the floor, the kids, my iPhone, the computer… In fact, at this VERY moment, I’m gazing intently at my laptop, trying not to squint.

Hello headache, nice to see you again.

But I’m not whining.

Okay, I totally am.

In better news, the snow that Simon attracted from England arrived Friday afternoon. Our county cleverly cancelled school that MORNING. So after 468 “Mom, where’s the snow on the radar NOW?” questions from Hannah, we finally went out for a late lunch. And then we got the best dessert EVER.

By 3 pm, we were home and kids were bundled and outside in it. As soon as enough was on the ground, Hannah started sledding. LC joined her after awhile. And Abby? What did she do? This:

Abby built snowmen. From 3 to about 7:30 pm, when we made her come in for dinner. By then it was dark and she had created a snowmob. Sentinels under the streetlight, they guarded our yard for the night.

After our late dinner, I made my first-ever batch of snow cream. Then we kept the kids up late watching the uber-long Olympic opening ceremonies. But on Saturday they were STILL up before 8:00, begging to go out and play.

Here’s Saturday, before the sun melted the snow off the trees:

And my lovely Snow Angel, Hannah:

The amazing father of my children bundled himself up and took the kids to the field down the road, where they sledded (and built more snowmen) for THREE HOURS. Happy Valentine’s Day to ME.

To recap:

Englishman, Old Lady Glasses, Snowmob, Valentine’s Day

I hope your week was at least half as fun as mine!

Patience is both very difficult AND very easy for me.

What do I mean? Well, I find BEING patient as much of a struggle as anyone else would, I guess. But ACTING patient? Piece of cake.

(And just to be clear: I’m NOT bragging.)

The skills learned in childhood are often used well into adulthood. And one thing I got really good at as a kid was ACTING patient.

A lot of circumstances could get credit for developing my expertise:

Some early abuse, family breakup, unreliable alcoholic bio dad, a period of serious financial struggle, a lot of time spent alone, etc.

The bottom line is that I didn’t always get what I wanted when I wanted it. My solution? Just stop wanting it.

Another way to say it: Some people focus on CHANGING the circumstances that they don’t like. For whatever reason, I just focused on FORGETTING them.

Because of my expertise in this area, from the outside I can look INCREDIBLY patient and calm. In fact, I’m often asked, “How can you be so peaceful while waiting for  fill in the blank?”

I’m never sure how to tell people that the answer is,

“Well, I’m ‘at peace’ because up until this moment I had totally forgotten all about what I was waiting for.”

Smooth, huh? Just call me Role Model.

This one-two punch of denial and distraction is demonstrated by many other wise people: drug addicts, alcoholics, Internet addicts …

Pretty much ANY addicts.

People with ADD seem to have an edge on developing it.

And depression has its roots DEEP in denial.

For a long time I thought my ability to distract myself away from impatience showed that I was practicing that virtue.

But now I know that “not worrying” isn’t the best strategy for me. Because I interpret “do not worry” as “do everything you can to not think about it.”

To practice patience, I have to “not run.” I have to actually FORCE myself to think about and feel the disappointment. Usually, by writing about it. Often here on this blog. After that, when I give it to God, I can actually sense the peace that indicates that I really GAVE IT TO GOD.

Because you can’t hand over a burden unless you admit that you’re carrying it.

How do you handle situations that require patience?

To see all posts on Patience,

Visit Bridget Chumbley.com

Yes, another video post. Please forgive me, but it WAS Super Bowl Sunday. One of my favorite commercials came early in the game:

Who knew Abe Vigoda was still alive? (According to SOME on the Twitter, he made a second appearance during the halftime show. But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t him. I think he would’ve been able to hit the high notes.)

The minute I saw the commercial above, I was reminded of how much I heart Betty White. At 88, she’s still totally articulate and hilarious. As evidenced in the SAG Awards a few weeks ago:

For more funny stuff, visit my friend Wendy. Even if she STILL refuses to get rid of her blog jukebox.

For your Saturday enjoyment:

OK Go – This Too Shall Pass from OK Go on Vimeo.

Note: One continuous take.

When I found out it was the same guys who did the Treadmill Video (at the end of the linked post), I wasn’t surprised at all.

In my real life, I have a lot of friends who just don’t “get” Twitter. They say they don’t have time for it  (WHAT? Do they think I do?) And they always ask, “WHY would I want to know what a total stranger had for breakfast?”

(I always answer, “It’s at least as interesting as knowing what COLOR YOUR BABY’S BOWEL MOVEMENT WAS TODAY.”)

(Then we don’t talk much after that.)

Anyway.

If you’ve ever experienced the Twitter, you know how much useful information you can learn from fellow  Twitterer/Tweeter/ Twerp/Twordsmiths. Things like HOW TO GET WHITE TEETH, and WAYS TO EARN A MILLION DOLLARS WHILE SITTING ON YOUR A$$.

But enough about my Tweets.

This week, like every other week on the Twitter, I was edified and enlightened in amazing ways. Allow me to share…

1.

My follower count on Twitter (around 4,500! HOLLA!) may have nothing to do with my social media fabulosity.

KathleenOverby: @redclaydiaries Without glasses and only first cuppa, I just read your bio as ‘former Call girl’….woops

Me: @KathleenOverby WOW. I wonder how many other people think I’m a former call girl? And does that make them more or less likely 2 follow me?

Katdish: @redclaydiaries I’ve just discovered the secret to your high followers count.

Me: @Katdish For 2010 I’m removing the “former” from the profile.

2.

Twitter improves housework.

Me: So I’m kinda copying @HeatheroftheEO & livetweeting housework. But bc of ADD I’m starting w powder room. Annnnd GO. (back soon!)

Me: (one hour later) <throws self down on couch> Why hello Twitter! I just finished cleaning a living room, powder room, & DOG. Done w housework for the day.

Me: @HeatheroftheEO That was a clever way to handle cleaning. (I’m easily overwhelmed, so I benefited)

HeatheroftheEO: @redclaydiaries ME TOO. I think this should be an on-going Twitter-cleaning-for-people-with-ADD event.

Me: @HeatheroftheEO YES. If we did it once a week, I’d be cleaning about 5x more often than I do normally.

3.

Mullets smell like green apples.

jewda: did you know that mullets smell like green apples?

Me: @jewda And apparently cat butts smell like hyacinth.

jewda: @redclaydiaries I’m not sure which air freshener is more disturbing. at least cat butt is something natural, made by God. But the mullet?

Me: @jewda Aw, you don’t think the mullet is made by God? How could he have a problem with business in the front, party in the back?

4.

I’m not the only parent whose photo album is full of extreme-extreme close-ups of my kids.

Me: Does anyone else have this problem? I pull out the videocam & my kids suddenly crowd in 2 inches from it. I’m SICK of eyeball shots.

arestlessheart: @redclaydiaries mine does this with my camera, AND she smiles by squinting her eyes all up…

mrshart03: @redclaydiaries totally – my son also always wants to ’see’ what’s on the digital screen…

makeadiff21: @redclaydiaries Hahaha. Either that or the hiding from the camera shots. That is what I have of my youngest’s last almost 4 years.

Me: Poll results: Rushing the camera = normal kid behavior. I need a lapel cam if I’m ever gonna catch my kids doing something cute.

5.

PR pitches often have little to do with reality.

Me: I just got a PR pitch from someone who apparently thinks I’m an Orthodox Jew.

marni71: @redclaydiaries Mazeltov!

helenatrandom: @redclaydiaries I just hate it when that happens… (snort)

Me: @marni71 L’Chaim! Nothing wrong with BEING an orthodox Jew. But my ancestry leans more toward Russian Orthodox. Entirely different animal

mylestones: @redclaydiaries you mean you’re not? oh, better take back the kosher care package I picked up to give you at Purim.

6.

It would not be a good idea to ever give me laudanum. Ever.

Me: @katdish @beckfromfrogandtoad Doesn’t pleurisy sound Victorian? Like its symptoms should be fanning yourself & fainting?

[in response to Beck's recent diagnosis of pleurisy (infection of the chest wall)]

beckfromfrogandtoad: @redclaydiaries @katdish It makes me sound like Mr. Woodhouse from Emma. I’m going to start eating only oatmeal and lecturing young women on the moral virtues of dry stockings.

Me: @beckfromfrogandtoad Hee! Oo! Oo! And you’d need to take laudanum. Lots & lots of laudanum. For the fainting.

beckfromfrogandtoad: @redclaydiaries I’d spend my days looking Pale And Interesting. As opposed to Pale And Ghastly

Me: @beckfromfrogandtoad I like it. You’d be like Val Kilmer in Tombstone. I’m your huckleberry.

See? Look at all that you’re missing by not joining the Twitter bandwagon?

Haven’t had enough in-depth analysis?

Visit the Twitter Ho-Down at Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants.